Deops of Watee 



FROM 



MANY FOUNTAINS. 



BY 

MIR A ' ELDREDGE. 



"WHOSOEVER DRINKETH OF THE WATER THAT I SHALL GIVE HIM 
SHALL NEVER THIRST." 

i'i '' : ' -" : G^Yk; Q H T ■ 



NEW YORK: 
FOSTER, & PALMER, JR., 14 BIBLE HOUSE. 

18 67. 





. £ Co 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S66, by 

FOSTER, & PALMER, JR., 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for 
the Southern District of Xew York. 




Stereotyped and Printed by 
Geo. C. Rand & Avery, Cornhill Press. 



CONTENTS. 



I. 

INTRODUCTORY . . 5 

II. 

FAITH 7 

III. 

SELF-CONSECRATION 101 

IV. 

CROSS-BEARING 127 

V. 

PRAYER .150 

VI. 

PATIENCE 169 

VII. 

WAITING 195 

VIII. 

LONGINGS 205 



I. 



INTRODUCTORY. 




UR only apology for offering 
this little work to the public is 
the great want of the heart for 
spiritual suggestion and instruc- 
tion. Much of our inner life is 
left sterile and barren, because 
no drops of living water fall 



upon its surface, vivifying and sanctifying its 
hidden springs. 

Most of our literature exhausts itself upon 
the imagination, and fails to percolate down 
through the moral being, bringing it up to 



6 



DROPS OF WATER. 



that high standard, where, united to Christ, 
we may " grow in grace " daily. 

Many are thirsting for the higher life ; but 
the well is deep, and they do not know how to 
draw from its mysterious depths. 

We have aimed, in giving these desultory 
passages of experience, taken from letters 
received and written by the writer, to suggest 
the way of holy living. " By faith ye stand," 
We must be united to Christ by a living, 
energetic faith ; and, to have that faith, we 
must have a corresponding energetic life, 
perfect obedience, perfect acquiescence to 
the Divine Will, — that love which " beareth 
all things, beiieveth all things, hopeth all 
things, endureth all things," " till we come, 
in the unity of the faith and of the know- 
ledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect 
man, unto the measure of the stature of the 
fulness of Christ." 



IX. 

FAITH. 

Y life-path for a few days 
has been like terraced steps. 
No 'sooner had I ascended one 
steep of difficulty, than an- 
other, still higher, awaited my 
ascent. But to-day is one of 
victory. Like Moses, when he 
ascended Mount Sinai to receive the answer to 
his prayer, " Show me thy glory," so have I, of 
late, been ascending the mount ; and to-day I 
stand upon the summit, by faith, alone with 
God. He lets his glory pass before me, and 

7 




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gives nie audience with the Holy Trinity. Oh, 
how my heart has been gladdened and -my 
soul expanded at the near approach of the 
Godhead, — three in one ! The Holy Spirit has 
revealed God to me a kind, tender Father ; 
Christ a present and all-sufficient Saviour ; 
and himself my Sanctifier, Comforter, and 
Guide. Blessed faith ! that reveals to us the 
mysteries of godliness. 

I am conscious that the daily discipline I am 
receiving adds strength and force to my Chris- 
tian character. But how slow am I to learn ! 
Were it not that God is so good and patient 
in teaching me, I should be left to my own 
ways, weak and unfruitful. Even now, with 
all of God's love and condescension, I am 
ever erring, and need the rod to goad me 
on, lest I loiter by the way till death and 
destruction overtake me. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 9 

Looking out these sunny days, so still and 
calm, the soul catches glimpses of peace. There 
is something very sweet in thinking of perfect 
tranquillity. How happy the soul that abides 
in quietness ! It is easy so to live when we 
leave all with Jesus. The instantaneous 
turning all over to him gives no room for 
ruffled thoughts. Sweet is that habit of cast- 
ing our burden on the Lord.! Some one has 
said, " The ocean takes the hue of the sky 
toward which it looks ; so the soul becomes 
like Christ by gazing upward." /become like 
Christ if I keep looking at him. Oh, what a 
great, incomprehensible thought ! Yet faith 
grasps it. 

" I am my beloved's : his desire is toward 
me." How sweet ! how tender ! — the desire 
of Christ toward me — even me — as the 
bridegroom toward the bride. " Thou art 



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fairer to ine, my beloved, than all the trees of 
the wood.' 7 I find no true satisfaction in the 
things of earth. My chief joy is in Christ. 
If he were absent, earth would be a dark, 
barren waste. 

Called on Mrs. N. this morning, and found 
her confined to her bed. She took my hand, 
saying, " What should we do without Jesus ? " 
All day my heart has echoed that, as, weak and 
weary from the morning exertion, the heart 
had been easily grieved with careless remarks 
that have fallen from depreciative lips. 

How rich the Christian's legacy ! — " My 
peace I leave with you ; my peace I give unto 
you. 77 Praise God, it is mine ! Perfect peace ! 
For three weeks, nothing has moved me for a 
single moment. Such a depth of love too ! 
I have enjoyed more during this time than I 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



II 



once expected to enjOy in heaven. It is lite- 
rally dwelling in God. 

You ask if I am happy. Yes, H ; never 

more so. I appreciate the full significance of 
the lines, — 

" How happy is the Christian's lot ! 
How free from every earthly thought ! " 

Muller's principle has been mine the past year. 
My prayer is short, " Give me, this day, my 
daily bread ; " but it is always answered, and 
my needs supplied. Oh this blessed life of 
trust ! — how safe with God ! Oh this unmoved 
experience ! — what heaven-like repose, what 
untold bliss ! — a joy forever ! I seldom have 
sad hours now. They arise from a distrustful 
state of mind, a dissatisfaction with the circum- 
stances under which we are placed, a writhing 
under needful discipline. I have learned not to 



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regard circumstances so tnuch as He who con- 
trols them, and to remember that He who 
chooses our path for us is infinitely wiser than 
we. 

Did it ever occur to you how many of the 
promises were introduced by, " They that trust 
in the Lord v ? I am not surprised that they 
are not more frequently verified, because we 
do not trust, which is the condition. 

Clouds in nature; but sunshine in the soul. 

Christ does not regard our trials according 
to their character or degree alone, but accord- 
ing to their effect upon the heart. Blessed 
sympathizer ! He sees as man cannot see. 
He alone can fully understand us. It is these 
little heartaches that are ever neglected by 
the world, but not by Jesus. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



13 



How firm a foundation, how safe a hiding- 
place, is my blessed Jesus ! My crumb for 
days has been, " Fret not thyself because of 
evil-doers." "He never gives strength for 
coming ill until its advent." 

My spirit is so calm this morning, and every 
morning ! Oh, such a depth of peace, that 
even the whirlwinds of sorrow fail to produce 
a ripple upon its surface ! This has been the 
general character of my experience since I 
left you : only occasionally there comes a 
wave of joy that so fills my soul with rapture, 
that the weak body cries out for pain ; and X 
have to ask God to stay the tide of glory, and 
only fold me gently to his bosom, while he all 
his fulness shows. 

I wish I could whisper a few living words to 
you. Do you not feel stronger for sympathy? 



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Oh, I can do so much when I am loved ! Are 
you not glad we have such a wealth of love 
in the Saviour ? Just now he whispers to us, 
saying, " As the Father hath loved me, so 
have I loved you : continue ye in my love." 

It is one of autumn's gray, chilly days. My 
heart is feeling a little autumnish, and yet not 
quite in harmony with the day ; but more like 
one of those rich, mellow days in October, 
when every thing is flooded with glory. The 
spring buds of life's childhood have matured ; 
the bright hopes of youth have blossomed and 
flourished : but the summer-time of youth's 
romance has faded, and left an autumn rich in 
fruit, and crowned with a divine glory. I 
thank God to-day that the lessons of life have 
not been in vain. I feel their sacred, refin 
ing influence upon my heart; and, while I 
hold the hand of my Guide with a steady 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



15 



faith, I am led into green pastures, and 
down by the peaceful waters of a holy rest. 

The sanctified one seems to me like a vessel 
which God takes up to heaven, and fills with 
his love and power, and then returns to the 
church and the world to impart of the fulness 
of its salvation. It is by such that God has 
access to those so far away from him, that they 
do not hear the Spirit's whisperings. " The 
secret of the Lord is with them that fear him." 
" Blessed is the man to whom the Lord revealeth 
his secrets." Sweet privilege to be thus taken 
into the inner chambers of our Beloved ! Bless- 
ed interchange of thought between the soul 
and the High and Holy One that inhabiteth 
eternity ! 

How humble we shall feel in heaven as we 
drink in the beauties and revelations of eter- 



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riity ! We shall feel our utter nothingness as 
we cannot imagine here. 

Did you see the beautiful northern sky the 
other evening? There was a path of purest 
white completely spanning the heavens, like a 
snowy rainbow. It was really sublime. How 
we catch glimpses of the power and wonderful 
skill of our God through his works ! " His 
greatness is unspeakable ; his ways, past 
finding out." And yet he loves us poor chil- 
dren. 

These past weeks of suffering have been 
indescribable as I have stood down by the 
dark river ; but my soul has been so sweetly 
stayed in God ! The darkness, even, was beau- 
tiful, like the twilight of a long summer's day, 
— darkness that seemed born of light, shadows 
ready to burst with glory : while the silvery 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



17 



accents of the voice of Jesus were ever heard 
above the dashing of the deep waters, saying, 
" When thou passest through the waters, I will 
be with thee." I had no unusual joy, but such 
a strong faith, that all the powers of darkness 
could not shake my trust in God. I knew 
whom I believed. My will was wholly lost in 
God's. Life or death I did not choose ; and 
when I was bid to return, and take again 
the burden of life, instead of receiving 
my " crown of rejoicing," my willing heart 
whispered, " Even so, Father ! Meekly will I 
bear my cross of pain till fully prepared for 
the many mansions." 

What an inexhaustible resource we have in 
the precious Bible ! Feeling burdened, I read, 
" Cast your burden on the Lord : " but the 
load seemed so heavy, I could not lift it up to 
" cast " it upon him ; and, turning to the 

2 



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margin, I found it, " Roll your burden upon 
God." It was the word to my weary soul. I 
could in passive trust let the burden fall, and 
feel Christ an all-sufficiency. Thank God, 
who supplieth all our needs. 

I find each advanced step has its correspond- 
ing experience, and that of the last ascent 
has been so rich and glorious ! The time has 
passed so pleasantly in sweet converse with 
God ! 0 holy friendship ! how indispensable 
to my momentary happiness ! Is not this 
abiding in Christ, walking by faith, running 
with patience ? Yes, Jesus assures me ! Pres- 
ent, all - sufficient Redeemer ! If he hides 
his face for a moment, my soul cries out for 
him, my beloved, my soul-satisfying portion. 

The future seems dark to me ; but, if I am 
doing rightly, God will sustain and bless. 



PROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 19 



" These surface-troubles come and go 
Like rufflings of the sea." 

Anxieties will come into the heart ; but, not- 
withstanding these " surface -troubles," there 
is a deep undercurrent of continual trust. 
The Christian life is a mystery, — such a 
strange mingling of doubts and assurances, 
of fear and courage ! but faith is the strong 
anchor-hold of the soul. We may be tossed 
about ; but we cannot be wrecked. 

My days are very like April days, blue sky 
and clouds. One moment the shower; the 
next repeating the words of inspiration, " I 
will trust, and not be afraid." 

My soul prospers, leaning upon Jesus' ♦bo- 
som. Sweet resting-place for the weary ! 

"As some rare perfume in a vase of clay- 
Pervades it with a fragrance not its own ; 
So, when thou dwellest in a mortal soul, 
All heaven's own sweetness is around it thrown." 



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DROPS OF WATER 



Exceeding great and precious promises has 
God given unto us : " Consider the ravens, and 
God feedeth them : how much more are ye 
better than the fowls ! Xot a sparrow falleth 
to the ground without your heavenly Father's 
notice." 

The providences of God may seem to you 
dark and mysterious now ; but let not your 
vague questionings rob you of the blessed 
consolation that God overrules all things, — 
even the smallest circumstances that shape 
our destiny. God has made certain general 
laws, such as would best be adapted to men 
as nations and individuals. He knew what 
would be from the beginning to the end, and 
made man a free moral agent, to be controlled 
by his law, or to repel it. Hence God's will 
reached all, and all things, either causing or 
permitting. He who watches the rise and 
fall of nations notes the sparrow's fall. He 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS, 



21 



who gives the planets their orbits orders the 
steps of his children ; instructing them in the 
way that they shall go, and guiding them with 
his eye. He who gives to each leaf its form 
and tint marks each falling tear, and hears the 
sufferer's sigh. God is love. But you ask, 
" Why so much sorrow and pain in earth ? " 
Suffering is~ a heavenly discipline, a minis- 
try of love. God would have the affections 
of his creatures ; but they are constantly 
making to themselves idols : hence the re- 
moval. If our characters admit a large 
development, God schools us according to 
our temperament and need ; making usually 
the path of duty to cross that of inclination. 
The best often suffer the most. Why? Do 
not the choice minerals, the precious stones, 
admit of the most burnishing, the most pol- 
ishing, which brings out their brilliancy and 
perfection ? So those that bring forth fruit 



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he purges, that they may bring forth more 
fruit. Yield your heart to God. your Father. 
Bend the knee, asking wisdom and faith, and 
light will gleam upon your path, which' is 
now shrouded in mist and darkness. 

" Oh ! is it hard to work for God ? " 

Leaning upon Christ, my staff and stay, 
the shadow of a great rock in a weary land, 
each Marah and Elim of the way brings us 
nearer to Him, the home of the soul. 

The day has been peculiarly adapted to a 
dreamy state of mind. Have been fitful and 
fanciful. Life seems like a long dream, un- 
broken but by waking realities. Xow its 
memories are bright and golden ; and again 
they are shrouded in shadows so dark, that 
faith alone can see the light behind the 
veil. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



23 



Was very sad for a few moments ; and then 
the grace which Jesus so sweetly rolled in 
upon the soul completely submerged it all, 
and I forgot the surroundings in the full en- 
joyment of Him whom my soul loveth. 

Was very happy during the night ; but the 
waters have been still and deep to-day. A 
constant exercise of faith has subdued emotion. 
Oh this steady, blessed reliance on God! " The 
Lord is my shepherd : I shall not want." 

" And I smiled to think God's goodness 
shone round our incompleteness ; round our 
restlessness, his rest." God fits us for our 
individual work as he pleases. 

Darkness enshrouds my earth-path ; but 
there is light above. I am living by faith, 
not by sight. Precious, precious Jesus ! I love 



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to fly to thee in hours of loneliness and sor- 
row. Thou knowest just what our little trials 
are to us ; and in thy blessed heart of love 
thou dost hide us from the rude blast. 

How often do we find that blessed promise 
verified in our experience, " In all thy ways 
acknowledge Him, and he shall direct thy 
paths " ! Sometimes our ways are in the thick, 
dark forest ; and we are often left to ourselves, 
that we may learn how weak and insufficient 
we are to keep and guide our steps. But, if 
we walk in the light of faith, our path shall 
be peaceful and serene ; for God shall dwell 
in us, and God himself is light. 

I have been having a surprise. " And he 
said unto them, When I sent you without 
purse or scrip or shoes, lacked ye any thing ? 
and they answered, Nothing.'' I have lacked 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 25 

shoes, and have had to borrow stockings and 
rubbers, of late ; but the Lord supplieth the 
wants of the needy. My surprise included 
a pair of boots, and the other day I had two 
pairs of nice socks given me. Now I can 
answer with the disciples, " Nothing." 

0 depths of iniquity, to need such disci- 
pline ! 0 Infinite Love, to bear so long ! 
Though the furnace is heated very hot, yet 
I pass through the fire, and am not burned ; 
neither is the smell of fire upon my garments. 
" This is the victory that overcometh, even 
our faith." Thank God, thank God ! Though 
the Red Sea of trial stretches out before me, 
seemingly impassable, yet my faith takes hold 
upon God. He who has led me thus far will 
open a way for my feet ; for the word of the 
Lord standeth sure : 46 He delivereth them 
out of all their troubles." 



26) DROPS OF WATER 

When reading the history of the Church, 
the fearful trials and sufferings of the saints 
of God, " of whom the world was not worthy," 
the question often arises, Why did God permit 
those wicked men to trample his people under 
their feet ? (for nothing can happen to God's 
people without his permission.) And as I 
have looked at. the matter carefully and 
prayerfully in the light of eternity, and in 
the light of God's word, I have come to the 
conclusion, that it is permitted for the best 
good of God's people, that, when the season 
of affliction is past, they may receive " a far 
more exceeding and eternal weight of glory ; " 
also that the cause they have espoused may 
be advanced, and God glorified. Truly the 
blood of the martyrs has been the seed of the 
Church. They have given a glorious demon- 
stration to all men, — a demonstration which 
even confounds the infidel. That religion 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



27 



which enables them to endure so much, yea, 
even to rejoice in tribulation, must be divine. 

" Oh for a faith that will not shrink, 
Though pressed by every foe ! " 

Nature is cloudy and sunless. We need 
sunshine in the heart when the natural sun 
stays away so long. Jesus whispers, " Thou 
art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. ,? 

How easy for God to take care of us when 
we will let him ; to make springs in the 
desert, and barren places fruitful! 

Last sabbath was a very precious day to 
me. In the morning, a thought was presented 
by a brother, which was food for my soul all 
day : " The grace we possess is the measure 
of our faith." The Spirit whispered, " Then 
the measure of my faith must be the measure 



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of my need ; " and, collecting the powers of 
the soul, my faith was able to measure all the 
fulness there is in Christ, and I was filled 
with unutterable peace. Ever since, I have 
been basking in the sunshine of God's pres- 
ence. " His banner over me is love." 

Shadows rested upon my heart ; but they 
are now flying fast before the rising Sun of 
Righteousness. Earthly clouds often become 
my telescope of heaven. " In our pilgrimage 
here, we must have the bitter herbs with our 
passover lamb," 

How much unseen work these hearts per- 
form ! Have been tempted, sad, and grieved 
all day; but at evening the shadows parted, 
and I saw the promised light through the rift 
of the cloud. " If afflicting mercy be so 
sweet, what must be crowning mercy ? " 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 29 

From a pathway all shrouded in mist and 
fear, I have stepped out into the broader and 
more comforting way of a quiet trust and con- 
fidence in God. The long years of haunting 
anxieties are gone, I trust, forever. Such a 
change ! Oh this precious trust ! I verily 
believe that this life of faith is far more de- 
sirable than a life of sight. 

These words have been of great comfort : 
" I know thy works, and where thou dweilest ; 
even where Satan's seat is." Yes, " all, all, is 
known to Thee and yet are we permitted to 
66 go and tell Jesus " in our many and press- 
ing needs. 

Have had grandly glorious views of God, 
as the one high over all. All his dealings 
are in love and tenderness. " Sorrows are like 
clouds, which are dark while we are passing 



30 



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through them; but, when they are overpast, 
they are like the garments of God, thrown off 
in purple and gold." 

I thank God for those days when every 
thing seems to go wrong. It is in stemming 
the current that we are conscious of growing 
strength. It is in the struggle that nerve 
and power are developed. Help me, 0 Lord ! 
to keep my face as a flint Zionward ; that 
I be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil 
with good. 

Felt sad on waking this morning ; but 
turned my tearful eyes as naturally to Jesus 
as the flower turns its dewy petals to the 
morning beams. 

Am still under the cloud. Have great 
mental and physical lassitude. I cannot 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



31 



think God withholds his smiles because we 
do not try as hard to please him as at other 
times ; for we do really make more effort in 
these seasons of darkness. We pray more, 
the heart yearns more intensely for our seem- 
ingly absent Lord ; while, when we are per- 
mitted to behold his smiles, our only effort 
is to enjoy him. 

I love to think of God in Christ, because 
he seems so merciful, tender, and willing — 
oh, so willing ! — to forgive, and yet so far off. 
But Jesus is nigh. What do those do who 
believe not in Christ's divinity ? Prom what 
source do they draw comfort ? Jesus is the 
only name that soothes our sorrows, and quiets 
disturbed and restless thoughts. Christ's love 
is like the wing of God spread over us in our 
fear and trembling of the great I Am. 



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Have felt it such a privilege to continue 
with Christ in suffering! " A place by Me." 
How happy the soul that is kept close to God ! 
— even like the little child, who knows no 
fear in its repose upon the maternal bosom. 

Look up ! the reflection of the heavenly 
light of trust will make earth's dark scenes 
even glorious. 

Sometimes God seems to leave us for a sea- 
son, as he did Jesus in the wilderness ; but if 
we trust him with childlike confidence, if we 
cling to him with fidelity, with what feelings 
of pleasure and satisfaction he must regard 
us, even while we think he frowns upon us ! 
" Sorrow at our inability to pray is commu- 
nion with God." 

Our varied experience reveals to us the dif- 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



33 



ferent attributes in the character of Christ, so 
that sometimes we catch glimpses of all the 
fulness that dwells in him. Blessed Jesus ! 
reach down thy hand, and lead me safe through 
earth's night. 

Have felt very sick for a few days ; but 
Christ has been peculiarly precious and near 
to pity and comfort. " He stayeth his rough 
wind in the day of the east wind," always 
adapting our strength to the cross. Strength 
in my weakness ! Blessed One ! how instinc- 
tively my heart turns away from every thing 
of earth to thee! None but Jesus; none but 
Jesus. 

God's love is unchanging, ever the same. 
Though we are constantly vacillating, "Thou 
art, from everlasting to everlasting, God; the 
same, yesterday, to-day, and forever." In our 

3 



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wanderings, thou dost not forget us, but pity- 
ingly dost love us still. 

I had expected such a result, and had been 
nerving myself for it ; so that, when the blow 
came, I had only to stretch out arms of faith, 
and, clinging to Christ, I was safe. How could 
I sink with such a prop as the eternal G-od ! 
Such perfect resignation as was given me ! 
Anywhere, any thing : I was satisfied since I 
had Jesus. Infinite strength to bear a finite 
trial. 

Let me tell you a little of an hour I spent 
with God a few evenings since. It was an ex- 
perience new, and superior to any thing I had 
before realized. It was a calm, steady concen- 
tration of the powers of the soul upon G-od, 
to that extent, that it seemed like a conversa- 
tion of friend with friend. My spirit-vision 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



35 



became so charmed with the view of God, 
that when I turned my eyes again, to the 
earth, after gazing upward for an hour, I felt 
that I could fully appreciate Paul's experience 
as expressed in 2 Cor. xii. God revealed to 
me something of his design in dealing with 
me as he had in the past, and something of his 
purposes respecting the future. He so took 
me into his confidence, that I had new and 
very enlarged ideas of faith and its results. 
" Blessed is the man to whom the Lord reveal- 
eth his secrets." 

When first this realization opened to my 
view, cutting off the hope of present recovery, 
I felt the cross greatly increase in weight ; it 
pressed me sore ; and, in my struggle of soul, 
I cried out, "All Thy waves and Thy billows 
are gone over me ! " But in a calm, steady 
exercise of faith, I clung to Christ so closely, 



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that the next outburst of my heart was, "Even 
so, Father; for so it seeineth good in thy sight." 
I need to be made holier, and I shall not have 
one pain more than my Father sees is needful 
for me. I desire not my crown till my meas- 
ure of suffering is full. 

I often sigh for the fellowship of kindred 
spirits, but never have the oppressive sadness 
of other days. I praise God for such a deliv- 
erance, and for the experience so new and 
sweet. Such an undisturbed peace ! I seldom 
think I have trials now ; and, when circum- 
stances are not agreeable to my feelings, I 
consider them the " need be's" of life. " Your 
heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need 
of these things." 

I have for weeks past dwelt beneath the 
shadow of Calvary, close to the cross. How 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



37 



holy is the atmosphere here ! I am constantly 
beholding new beauties in Christ. Oh. may my 
eyes never turn away from beholding him, the 
Lamb of God, the blessed Lamb, that cleanseth 
the heart from guilt ! 

There are none here who seem fully to un- 
derstand me ; but I turn my eyes upward, and 
I see One with loving arms outstretched. By 
faith I throw myself into his embrace. I lean 
my head against his great " mother-heart," 
and feel that he loves me, owns me for his 
child, and fully understands and appreciates 
my feelings. This is my Saviour, precious and 
loving, — ever near to make me happy, and 
throw gleams of sunshine upon my solitude. 

I cannot doubt God's goodness, though 
what seems to me blessings are withheld. I 
fear not to press my way on, though the way 



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before me is dark, because I am clinging to 
Jesus, and he has promised to be with me to 
the end. I need not be fearful of following 
while the divine arm is underneath me. 
"The foundation of God standeth sure." It 
is well with me, and will be. I cannot doubt 
God. 

" Oft, when I seem to tread alone 
Some barren waste with thorns o'ergrown, 
Thy voice of love in tenderest tone 
Whispers, ' Still cling to me/ 
Though faith and hope awhile be tried, 
I ask not, need not, anght beside : 
How safe, how calm, how satisfied, 
The soul that clings to thee ! 99 

I am hid under the " feathers " of the Al- 
mighty (Ps. xci.). The rude blasts of earth 
cannot chill me. Safe, secure shelter. 



A deep, rich joy fills my soul. I feel that 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



39 



I have a "present heaven." But if this be 
heaven, with so much sorrow and pain, " what 
must it be to be there ? " How I wish all 
could know of this strong reliance upon God, 
while on their pilgrimage, — this perfect trust 
in him, this sweet repose of faith I 

These are precious lessons that we learn in 
the furnace. How plainly we can see that all 
things do work together for good ! As earthly 
ties lessen, the heart rests more securely upon 
God and heaven. I realize as never before what 
it is to be ih the world, and yet not of it. I 
desire to live only for the good of others. It 
is so pleasant to be a worker in the vineyard ! 
Sweet toil for Jesus ; and, by and by, sweet 
and perfect rest with Jesus. 

When my sins and imperfections appear in 
full array, I dare not dwell upon them, but 



40 



DROPS OF WATER 



turn away to the wounded Saviour ; and, 
while I gaze at the flowing tide, I forget 
all, only that Jesus saves me, that his blood 
cleanses from all sin. Oh blessed atonement ! 
precious, precious blood ! one drop can can- 
cel our entire guilt. Glory, glory to Jesus ! 
Catch the strains as you read, and whisper it 
too ; for it makes the heart, way down deep, 
so glad ! Hark ! I hear spirit-voices in the 
distance, singing, " Glory, honor, power, belong 
to the Lamb who was slain for us ! " I some- 
times wish we had a heavenly vocabulary, it is 
so hard to define this spiritual life in this dull 
language. 

God does not give us an abundance of grace, 
and fill our earthen vessels, simply for our 
enjoyment alone ; but there are corre- 
sponding trials, and constant tests to our 
faith. Amid the series through which I have 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



41 



passed, my heart has been stayed upon God, 
and I felt that it was through the Spirit alone 
that I conquered. How grateful I am for 
trial ! I often look up with tearful eyes, and 
thank God for this and that one ; for I find 
that each is a means in divine use to purify 
the heart. 

On account of neuralgia in the head, I have 
not been able to enjoy as much of God's sen- 
sible presence for a few days. It has seemed 
as if he had gone a long journey. Sweet 
Jesus ! I pine for thy smiles ; and faith brings 
to the spirit's hearing the sweet words, "Thou 
art ever with me, and all that I have is thine." 
How I love the experience of faith ! It is so 
quiet and calm! Sick or well, we can trust. Ah! 
whither should I flee, were not God my refuge ? 

I am joyfully counting " all but loss for the 



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excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus 
my Lord,' 9 If the Captain of our salvation 
became perfect through suffering, I would 
walk in the same thorny but hallowed steps of 
my Lord. 

What a mighty power is love ! I am trying 
to get hold of God's power. I think I have 
not expected the mightiest results from my 
feeble efforts. The prophet says, " The Lord 
God is my strength." Oh that I may realize 
this, and become mighty to the pulling-down 
of the strongholds of the enemy ! 

So happy ! My heart is very full of joy, 
because God dwells therein, and is the joy 
thereof. Feel like whispering his praise con- 
tinually. 



As I kneeled down, feeling just a little sad, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



43 



as the realization pressed itself upon my heart 
of the instability of earthly things, the Spirit 
suggested, " Thou art, from everlasting to 
everlasting, G-od, — the same, yesterday, to-day, 
and forever." "Yes," my heart exclaimed, 
" always God ! " Not like earthly joy, bright 
to-day, and clouded to-morrow, but always 
God ! What a comforting thought ! a source 
of joy, a staff and a stay amid earth's mu- 
tability. " Behold, He that keepeth Israel 
shall neither slumber nor sleep." God does 
not sicken, nor his heart of love grow cold. In 
all conditions, under all circumstances, he is 
always God ; " and beside him there is none 
else." 

" By whose stripes we are healed." We, 
wounded and bleeding with iniquity, healed 
through Christ's sufferings and death ; made 
whole in the hour in which we believe in the 



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great sacrifice for sin ! Blessed Jesus ! thy 
love, thy condescension, thy life of self-sacri- 
fice, thy ignominious death, draws us to thee. 
We come, thou bleeding Lamb ! Thine we 
are. 

As I thought, last evening, how few there 
were that understood me, how few there were 
familiar with my inner life, I looked fully away 
to Jesus ; and he folded me tenderly to his 
warm, palpitating heart of love, and whispered, 
" Lo, I am with you alway." As I thought of 
him an ever-constant friend, and seeming to 
appreciate, too, our effort at constancy and 
fidelity, in that he acknowledged, " Ye are they 
who have continued with me," the tears of 
joy flowed down my cheeks, while I sat long 
at the cross, gazing up at my Beloved, and 
satisfying my ravished soul with the glory of 
his grace. Thus am I daily dying to self; 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



45 



thus is my life in Christ growing deeper and 
broader day by day. 

Awoke many times in the night, and whis- 
pered, " Glory to Jesus ! " My heart was 
overflowing with love. The very atmosphere 
seemed heavenly, and the whole place was full 
of his glory. Glory, glory, to Jesus ! 

This word has been so precious to my heart 
all day, — " saved ! " Yes, saved through the 
blood of the Lamb, — washed and made 
clean, whiter than the snow. Thank God, 
thank God ! Our poor lives are all covered up 
with Christ. 

My soul is full of glory. Jesus all the 
day long is my joy. A joy forever is my 
Beloved. My meditation of him is sweet. 
Fresh every morning and new every evening 
are his mercies to my soul. 



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DROPS OF WATER 



I am leaning upon the Omnipotent Arm. 
All will be well. God knows best. I am 
wonderfully supported day by day, as I dwell 
upon the fearful trial that awaits me. Was 
greatly comforted by the twelfth of Isaiah : 
"I will trust, and not be afraid." — " God is 
too wise to err." I can fully rely upon Him 
"who sticketh closer than a brother." Was 
unable to go out to church to-day ; but in my 
suffering I cling to Jesus, and whisper, — 

"As God will; 
And in his mighty hand hold still." 

These continued kindnesses burden my 
heart more than if everybody's hand were 
against me. Oh, how sweetly will it fall upon 
the ears of some of God's children, " Inas- 
much as ye have done it unto the least of 
these my brethren, ye have done it unto me " ! 
With that consideration, that it is done for 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



47 



Christ's sake, I can bear to receive ; for he can 
reward so abundantly ! 

I do not have doubts now. They are of no 
use : they make me so restless and unhappy ! 
If one fastens itself on me, I begin all anew, 
and say, " If I never have been a Christian, 
I will be one from this moment." My soul all 
the week has been crying out so strongly for 
Christ, feeling' that I possess so little of his 
real life and spirit ! Even in my half-wakeful 
hours, the heart seems reaching out for God ; 
and I have such an increasing desire to have 
an eye single to his glory ! 

I have stepped over the deep, dark chasm 
of unrest, fear, and doubt, and have passed 
into the green pastures, and down beside the 
still waters of simple faith in God. Things 
that once would have cast aside my confidence 



48 



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now increase it ; and I move steadily, quietly, 
on towards home. Shadows of doubt come 
often over me ; but, through Christ, I am able 
to come off conqueror. For me to live is 
Christ. His work is my work. I am not 
anxious for the future. I know, if I commit 
my way unto the Lord, he will bring it to 
pass. 

" My soul feeds on thy word, 

And strength receives from thee. 
I weary not of thee, my Lord : 
Oh ! weary not of me." 

I am realizing very fully the obligation that 
rests upon us to employ all the power which a 
full baptism of the Holy Ghost secures to us. 
Holiness is power. May our faith measure 
our need, and claim all that it is our privilege 
to have ! 



My heart is glad in the Lord all the time. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



49 



He keeps me. Thanks be to him ! Thoughts 
of, " We are unto God a sweet savor of Christ," 
have been very sweet and cheering. 

While suffering to-day, I read Paul's expe- 
rience, u I glory in my infirmity." It found 
a response in my own heart ; and I felt that 
I could glory in my pain, which is my 
infirmity, lest I should be exalted above 
measure. 

The greatest folly of my life has been in 
not taking hold of Christ by faith. But I 
can now say, " Lord, I believe ; " and it brings 
repose and comfort. My religion does not 
afford me joy : it is simply quietness and 
trust. I do not think I shall ever know jubi- 
lant happiness ; but I am satisfied with the 
quiet repose of faith. The grand principle 
of religion is obedience, not emotion ; but 

4 



50 



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the best of my life passed in error, and I have 
not realized that comfort which God grants 
to those who readily and cheerfully obey. 
How many golden opportunities are gone 
forever ! And yet may not each experience 
of life be a benefit, like the parts which go to 
make up the whole ? 

Am drinking from the Fountain-head, and 
my very soul is satisfied with fulness of joy. 
Fulness of joy in a " hundred-fold," with our 
poor human capacities ; and " in Thy presence 
is fulness of joy " forever and forever. 

" No more fatigue, no more distress ; 
Nor sin nor pain shall reach the place ; 
No sighs shall mingle with the songs 
That warble from immortal tongues." 

God is so very good ! Am walking in the 
path of duty safely. All Christ's. Hid with 
Christ in God. Glory to Jesus! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



51 



Each little trial of the day is sweet. I 
thank God for all. How they drive me to 
the immutable source of joy and peace ! I 
rejoice in the power of religion, — in the love 
of Jesus. I can bear to be excluded from 
the love of others ; but his love I crave. How 
could I live without it ? 

This has been a blessed week. God has 
filled my heart with himself, and given me 
the sweet assurance that I was in the path 
of duty. I have not for a moment been led 
to doubt that I was acting contrary to God's 
will. Christ has been ever present, making 
the heart rejoice. Sweet Jesus, 

" Thou art my soul's bright morning-star, 
And thou my rising sun." 

How many important lessons we learn in 
the " school of affliction " ! Shut in from 



52 



DROPS OF WATER 



the world, we have so many quiet opportu- 
nities of studying the heart, and correcting 
the habits formed, and mistakes made, in the 
hurry of active life ! It is true, life is changed, 
and to human vision seems sometimes 

" All dark and barren as a rainy sea : M 

but the light of hope and faith shines all the 
more brightly for the surrounding darkness ; 
and, guided by its silvery gleams, I will press 
on till the noonday light of the home of God 
bursts upon my immortal view. 

It seems as though I had grown to Christ ; 
and the giving-up of my hope is like severing 
the branch from the vine. No, I cannot lay 
it aside. The very thought shows me how 
precious he has become to my heart, and how 
necessary to my life. 



Am trusting, — simply trusting. All things 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



53 



are working for my good, not a part merely. 
As I think of the past, there is no trial I would 
have left out of my experience. Trials bring 
my poor, haggard heart nearer heaven. Thank 
God for all, every drop of my life-cup ! 

Another arc broken from the home- 
circle ; another voice hushed ; another seat 
vacant. How unlike dark infidelity is our 
blessed faith ! While the infidel mourns as 
one without hope, we can rejoice that another 
gem is added to the Saviour's coronet, — that 
the voice hushed on earth is joining the 
mighty chorus of " Worthy the Lamb that 
was slain for us ! " Do you not think that 
Jesus is happy to welcome back one after 
another of his little ones as they come up 
from their pilgrim-journey ? Heaven would be 
incomplete to him without us : for he has said, 
" They are mine ; my Father gave them me." 



54 



DROPS OF WATER 



Ah, yes ! He takes one after another to 
behold his glory, to partake of his joy, to 
enter into his rest. 

Let me give you one sweet promise, — yours 
by virtue of the present affliction : "I have 
torn, and I will heal " (Hos. vi. 1). Let your 
faith now appropriate it to your present need. 
It will soothe and comfort your aching heart. 
0 precious word ! Gilead's balm ; the oil of 
joy for mourning. 

For a week past, I have dwelt upon the 
Word with great comfort ; have revelled in 
the green pastures of God's truth. How I 
want to have our blessed religion a greater 
reality, and Jesus an ever-present Saviour ! 
What good are all these forms and ordinances, 
save as a means to bring us nigh unto our 
Beloved ? Miss Newton, in speaking of a sac- 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 55 

ramental occasion, says, " I have been catch- 
ing glimpses of Jesus through the lattice-work 
of the ordinances." 

I am trying to walk " circumspectly, redeem- 
ing the time." I have full faith in the blood 
of the Lamb. I am clinging to the Holy One, 
and carry my burdens to the cross, and leave 
them there. 

" And thou, 0 Lord ! by whom are seen 
Thy creatures as they be, 
Forgive me, if too close I lean 
My human heart on thee." 

The experience of the past week has been 
promiscuous indeed. Trial after trial has 
rolled in upon the soul like the waves of the 
ocean ; but steadily has the anchor of faith 
held me, sheltered in the haven of Christ, 
where the storms of life cannot reach to dis- 
turb the deep calm of the trusting heart. 



56 



DROPS OF WATER 



" Forever here my rest shall be, 
Close to thy bleeding side ; 
This all my hope and all my plea, — 
For me the Saviour died." 

I so pitied poor Job as I read, "There is 
no daysman between us, that might lay his 
hand upon us both " (Job ix. 33). Christ is 
so like a shield when we feel afraid of God 
in his absolute holiness ! Sometimes I tremble 
to draw near to God ; but Christ is so like a 
friend, I dare approach him, rest in him, and 
trust my all to him. Christ is my all ; and 
for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 

Saved, fully saved, through the precious 
blood of Christ ! Grace sufficient for each day. 
Oh, how good is the Lord our God ! I do not 
love him half enough. My heart seems all too 
small. u Thy right hand hath holclen me up, 
and thy gentleness hath made me great.'' 



FEOM MANY FOUNTAINS. 57 

Have been drawn very near to Christ to-day. 
The commemoration of his death, the remem- 
brance of his love, have melted my heart to 
tenderness, and brought me very low at the 
cross ; and as I have there gazed up at my 
dying Lord, the bleeding Lamb for sinners 
slain, I have had new and vast conceptions of 
the divine character, the very essence of which 
is love, — divine, unchanging love. 

I have very little time for meditation or 
communion with God while school- duties 
press me so hard. How sweet it will be when 
in heaven we have nothing to detract from a 
constant and steady intercourse with God, our 
Father ! Oh happy thought ! oh wondrous 
conception ! — to study God throughout eter- 
nity, and to become more and more God-like 
as the eternal ages roll ! Press on, my weary 
soul : the " little while " wanes fast. 



58 



DROPS OF WATER 



A deep-abiding peace pervades my heart, 
and arms of love encompass me, — such arms 
as would all mankind embrace. Christ is my 
rock and my salvation, my covert from the 
storm, my Redeemer from all sin. Precious 
Christ ! I know I love him with all my heart ; 
and I know that he loves me, because he fol- 
lows me with chastisement : " As many as I 
love, I rebuke and chasten." Precious Christ! 
precious when the shadows deepen and the 
storm gathers. 

Sometimes we are led to question why God 
imposes such heavy burdens. He has prom- 
ised, "My grace shall be sufficient: " then we 
are to infer, that, the greater the burden, the 
more abundant the grace. Surely the afflicted 
one is privileged ; for, by virtue of the prom- 
ises made to such, we can claim largely of 
divine strength and power. Can we not better 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



59 



glorify God in affliction in the use of the 
abundance of grace given, while we bear up 
under the load so trustingly, submissively, 
and cheerfully, showing to those about us the 
sustaining grace of God, and leading them to 
acknowledge, " We have not seen such great 
faith, no, not in Israel " ? There is a vast dif- 
ference between submitting to God's will 
because there is no alternative, and loving it 
so that we would prefer what is sent to any 
thing else. We can have the former without 
cheerfulness or comfort ; but the latter makes 
us so very happy ! How slow we are in learn- 
ing to love our Father's will ! How kind and 
patient our God in the continuance of life's 
discipline ! He bears so long ! Yet would we 
pray, " Leave us not, neither forsake us." 

Let the poor heart throw its burden into the 
bosom of Jesus. It is easy journeying then. 



60 



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" Child, take my hand ; 
Cling close to me : I'll lead thee through the land. 
Trust my all-seeing care, so shalt thou stand 

'Midst glory bright above/ ' 

Afflicted one of earth, honored of God, 
strike your harp of praise ; for great is the 
goodness of the Lord unto the children of 
men. You are surely one of God's peculiar 
ones, — one that he regards with special care ; 
a precious stone that he is polishing and re- 
fining for the Saviour's coronet ; cut off from 
earthly good, but rich in faith and the things 
of the kingdom. 

" The eager hearts, the souls of fire, 

Who pant to work for God and man, 
Who view with eyes of keen desire 

The upland way of toil and pain, — 
Almost with scorn they think of rest, 
Of holy calm, of tranquil breast ; 
But God, through ways they have not known, 
Will lead his own." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



61 



It will be so sweet to get home ! But, oh, 
my life has been so imperfect ! If I am saved, 
it will be all of Christ, — Christ's love for me. 
He will not live in glory, and leave us behind. 
No : he said he would come again, and take us 
to himself, — to himself. Sweet home of my 
soul, how near ! 

The blow came not heavily ; but so gently 
did it fall upon the spirit, that it had time to 
rally, and stretch out its arms of faith, encir- 
cling the neck of Christ so closely, that I felt 
deeply and emphatically the power of an end- 
less life bearing me up. I did not weep, — did 
not even feel sad. I thought not of foiled 
plans or crushed hopes. I had such a vivid 
conception of the depth of infinite love, that 
all else was swallowed up. Thank God for 
victory through Christ ! Thank God for a 
power that enables us to rejoice in tribulation ! 



62 



DROPS OF WATER 



Catch the strain, ye heavenly hosts, and thank 
God for salvation for ever and ever. 

Jesus is the great luminary of my soul amid 
earth's shadows. 

" What though a short eclipse his beauties shroud, 

And bar the influence of his rays : 
; Tis but a morning vapor or a summer cloud. 

He is my sun, though he refuse to shine : 
Though for a moment he depart, 
I dwell forever on his heart, 

Forever he on inine." 

As darkness gathers about my way, the 
Comforter comes with words of cheer : — 

" My arms shall be around thee day by day ; 
My smile shall cheer thee on thy heavenly way." 



With everlasting arms to encircle me, and the 
smile of the Holy One, all will be well. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



63 



I am bolstered up in bed this morning, with 
window wide open, drinking from God's deep, 
broad ocean of pure air. My heart feels 
large enough to take in a world ; and nothing 
would so permeate it with intense joy as to be 
able to rise up and go forth, a laborer in the 
Master's vineyard. My cup is full as a suf- 
ferer ; and it will surely run over with joy 
when I am permitted again to join the ranks 
of those going about to do good. Thank God, 
the long, dark night of pain is fading away, 
and the morning comes slowly. 

Oh, my life, my life ! What is it? What has 
it been ? What may it be ? Sometimes I dare 
not think ; and again in my closet, with 
clasped hands and silent lips, the whole soul 
goes out in a " Thy will be done." My entire 
being is ever reaching on and on for some- 
thing ! Oh this indefinite something ! And yet 



64 



DROPS OF WATER 



its base is in my own life, deeply and firmly 
laid ; and the structure can only rise by my 
adding to it, daily, duties done well. Faith and 
hope lighten the darkness of seeming impos- 
sibilities; and, if not here the hungry soul be 
fed, " we shall be satisfied when we awake in 
His likeness." 

Felt a little lonely to-day, as sympathy is the 
great want here ; but found it sweet to breathe 
my feelings to my heavenly Father. He 
whispered, " I love, I understand : child, lean 
on me." Was comforted on reading " Christ's 
kisses for thy watery cheeks, 0 tried be- 
liever ! " 

Rev. Mr. C n has been in, passing an 

hour with me. My heart burns within me 
from the little talk we had of Jesus by the 
way. That soul - cheering prayer of faith 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



65 



reached the divine ear, and sweetly descends 
upon my heart the influence of heaven. 
Thank God for Christian sympathy ! 

Resting in God. How firm a basis for the 
trembling heart, that finds no resting-place in 
earth ! The atmosphere within seems cold. 
The heart keeps hungering ; but Christ keeps 
loving: so it is well, — it is well. 

How slight is my suffering, compared to 
what Jesus suffered for me ! Precious Jesus ! 
Fulness of joy ! Well of salvation ! Oh for a 
faith to plunge into the ocean-fulness of his 
love, and to drink of the fountain of joy ! 

Am earnestly praying that my eyes may be 
turned away from vanity, and that I may 
" behold beauty in God's law." My readings 
of the Word are attended with more comfort 
of late. " Shall abide under the shadow of 



66 



DROPS OF WATER 



the Almighty." What safety ! — never in dan- 
ger there. " As the bridegroom rejoiceth over 
the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee." 
Imagine God rejoicing over us sinful, fallen 
ones with the joy of a bridegroom over his 
new-found treasure ; even seeming to make 
us needful to his joy ! Again : he says he will 
send forth the spirit of his Son into our hearts, 
crying, " Abba, Father." What tender terms, 
" Husband," " Father " ! Do they not encour- 
age our confidence, and strengthen our trust? 
Jesus, too, is such a ready " elder Brother " 
to be " touched with the feelings of our infir- 
mities." Sometimes, when in suffering, I try 
to pray, I am so comforted in thinking Jesus 
prays for me. Yes, he has entered into the 
holy of holies, and liveth to make intercession 
for us. 

As the glad music died away in the distance, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



67 



so faded the light of joy from out my heart. 
Such are our earthly joys, ephemeral and 
fleeting; "but in Me ye shall have peace." 
Oh, how we cling to the Rock when every 
thing is dashed upon the breakers of life ! 

" God, through ways we have not known, 
Will lead his own." 

Thick clouds darken the natural horizon ; but 
the veil that hides the inner glory of heaven's 
sanctuary seems very thin. While shut into 
my closet alone with God, streams of heavenly 
glory burst into my soul ; and the presence of 
God filled all the place where I was kneeling. 
To know more of Christ, and to exhibit his 
loving, humble spirit in all my life, is my 
ruling desire. 

My heart is so strong in God ! The yoke of 
Christ is easy, and his burden light. I rejoice 
that I am counted worthy to be called a " fool 



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DROPS OF WATER 



for Christ's sake : " for God says, " Fear not. 
Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou 
hast been honorable, and I have loved thee." 

" In darkest shades, if thou appear, 
My dawning is begun : 
Thou art my soul's bright rnorning-star, 
And tEou my rising sun." 

Way down deep in the heart, I enjoy the 
blessed realization that God doeth all things 
well. Tenderly he watches each step of the 
way his weary, burdened children tread. He 
brings them by the way that leads most direct 
to heaven. But it is only by faith that we are 
able to appreciate this direct highway of the 
soul. Hence, Lord, increase our faith, and 
give us the elastic step of those who "run, 
and are not weary." 

When the heart is aching, and I sink under 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



69 



life's heavy burden, I stay up the soul with 
repeating, " When thou passest through the 
waters, I will be with thee ; and through the 
rivers, they shall not overflow thee." 

" All tearfully, all fearfully, 

Alone and sorrowing, 
My dim eye lifted to the sky, 

To thy dear cross I cling, ' 
0 Christ ! to thy dear cross I cling." 

My quiet room seems the dwelling-place of 
God ! I have but to look up, and I meet his 
smiles. My faith grows strong. I am confi- 
dent my path will open by God's direction, 
and as is best adapted to me. God knows how 
purely alive our sensitive hearts are to suffer- 
ing ; and all that is possible to our happiness, 
social or spiritual, he gives. 

" He sendeth sun ; He sendeth shower : 
Alike they're needful to the flower. " 



70 



DROPS OF WATER 



" No good thing will He withhold from them 
that walk uprightly." 

My heart is filled with a holy joy this 
'morning. I find it pleasant to stay and suffer 
upon earth, when the spirit is so near heaven. 
Thank God that I have at last learned the 
lesson of perfect trust ! I simply take God 
at his word, and he makes me happy anywhere 
and everywhere. I am more conscious of his 
companionship than of those around me. In 
the world, and yet not of it. 

I have no one but Jesus. My poor, weary 
soul clings to him. He is my all. I call 
him mine. 

" If a man love me, he will keep my 
words ; and my Father will love him ; and we 
will come unto him, and make our abode with 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



71 



him." How plain the test of our love to God, 
— keeping his words ! How great the divine 
condescension, u We will make our abode with 
him" ! Sweet is it to live where we can con- 
stantly feel the presence of God, and appre- 
preciate the divine companionship. How 
easy to grieve the Holy Spirit, and become 
separated from Christ ! God help that we may 
walk with sacred awe, as did Moses before the 
burning bush ! 

My heart is so very peaceful ! I seem not to 
feel the jar of earth's tumult. Nothing moves 
me. All the circumstances of life are tem- 
pered by the kind and gentle Shepherd. 

Sweet and sure are the promises, full of 
strength and comfort. The needed strength 
comes moment by moment. I felt in school, 
to-day, so fully swallowed up in God, that I 



72 DROPS OF WATER 

seemed not to be acting of myself, but con- 
trolled fully by some divine agency. 

The discipline of the past has seemed to bring 
me by the very shortest possible way to heaven. 
Thank God ! Sometimes, when faith is in 
t lively exercise, he seems to take us " across 
lots," and not leave us to wander forty years 
in the wilderness through unbelief. 

" Thine arm our souls can guard 
Safe through each passing hour." 

Thank God ! thank God ! Sweet is it to run 
in the way of Thy commandments. 

Participated in a fine entertainment given 
to our class last evening ; but, during the 
whole evening, I did not hear the name of Je- 
sus mentioned once. My heart felt strange 
and sad ; and, when proper, I took my place by 
the window, and, gazing out into the night, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



73 



communed with Him whom my soul loveth. 
Precious was the tide of love that flowed into 
my soul, and sweet the overshadowings of 
His presence. Had felt a great want in the 
conversations of the evening ; but, when con- 
versing with God alone, my soul was satisfied. 
How sweet the sympathy of the Divine ! strong 
and abiding. 

Tempted and tried ! Have been constantly 
struggling to call the promises all mine. Amid 
the din of the conflict, I could hear the Saviour 
say, " Your Father knoweth that ye have need 
of all these things." While singing, "Jesus, 
lover of my soul," I hid me under the shadow 
of those outspread wings, and by faith was 
made secure from the power of the Enemy. 

I dare not look at the long panorama of life 
as it stretches out before me ; but I do dare to 



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grasp Christ's hand, and to " lay hold " of the 
Infinite One, whom I find as a strong tower. 
I cannot see into the dark future ; but I can 
trust One who knows the end from the begin- 
ning, and who knoweth them that are his. 

These continued sunless days seem dreary. 
I quite pine for the sunshine. 

" No night shall be in heaven ; no gathering gloom 
Shall o'er that glorious landscape ever come." 

He who has the sunlight of God's presence has 
continual clay, — even heaven here. Have en- 
joyed dwelling upon " Blessed is the man that 
endureth temptation ; for, when he is tried, he 
shall receive a crown of life that fadeth not 
away." Endurance now ; but palms of glory 
and crowns of victory just upon the other side. 

" Thou art ever with me, and all that I have 
is thine." How rich the child of God, though 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



75 



poor in this world's goods ! Access to all of 
heaven ! 0 ye hungry, barren souls ! could ye 
but catch one glimpse of the fulness in Christ, 
ye would believe. "Lord, help our unbelief." 

" Lead Thou me on ; 
Keep Thou my feet. I do not ask to see 
The distant scene : one step enough for me. 
Lead Thou me on." 

" As the Father hath loved me, so have I 
loved you." What ! the love that God bore 
to his dear Son the measure of Christ's love to 
us fallen ones ? Wondrous thought ! Love 
deep and incomprehensible ! And yet faith 
grasps it ; and I sink into the great deep, lost 
in wonder and praise. Thank God for such a 
salvation ! 

Such earnest desires as I have for more of 



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God, — the living God ! These forms and cer- 
emonies alone do not satisfy. I want an in- 
dwelling divinity, the door of the senses shut 
to the outward world, and a constant con- 
sciousness of God with me. Was interested 
while reading, " As clay in the hands of the 
potter." Will He not fashion us, so as to bring 
to Himself the most glory ? " We are His work- 
manship, created unto righteousness." 

" Behold me ! " Have tried to keep my eye 
fixed so steadily upon Jesus, that, beholding 
him, I may be changed into the same image, 
from glory to glory. 

Have been much alone, but have enjoyed 
the satisfying portion of God's companionship 
in an unusual degree. Have felt the force of 
Beecher's words : " God is multitudinous above 
all the nations of the earth." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



77 



Hanging to Christ ! Sweet Christ ! What 
is he not to me ? My pains are increasing ; 
but each is a Father's gift, — a marked bless- 
ing, yielding the peaceable fruits of righteous- 
ness. 

I am permitted, while passing under the 
cloud, to realize that I am but treading in the 
footsteps of Jesus. How much the thought 
softens the roughness of the way, and lightens 
the darkness ! Rough now ; but the end thereof 
is peace and everlasting joy in the presence of 
our God. 

How tenderly anxious the Saviour is for his 
little ones ! Have been much interested in the 
incident of his walking to them upon the water. 
How often he comes walking on the billows 
of life to us, and saying, " Be not afraid : it 
is I'M 



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" It is well, it is well, it is well ! 

Though, sorrow cloud our way, 
'Twill make the joy more dear 
That ushers in the day." 

I have very little variety of experience now. 
The will seems to be so wholly lost in the Fa- 
ther's, that I love every thing he sends. There 
is a divine calm in the heart, so that nothing 
seems to move me. I do not have any joy ; 
not the definite peace that I have sometimes : 
but it is a passive, trusting state of soul, which 
♦ gives me quiet and rest. I feel my vileness 
very sensibly, and every moment the need of 
the Saviour's blood. Every thought and act 
seem united with self ; but I struggle hard to 
overcome, and God gives me quiet victories. 

" Take my poor heart, and let it be 
Forever closed to all but Thee ; 
Seal Thou my breast, and let me wear 
The pledge of love forever there." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



79 



My heart says it, feels it, and revels in its 
beauty. I have given my heart all away to 
my Beloved. He is mine, and I am his, in an 
everlasting covenant. 

We know " all things work together for 
good to them, that love God ; " but it needs a 
strong faith always to enable us to say, " We 
know" Sometimes we look forward, and a Red 
Sea of trial stretches out before us : the way 
looks dark ; and reason says, " Why was this 
permitted ? " But, thanks be to our dear hea- 
venly Father, his Spirit teaches us to say, " It 
is all right." How marvellous is the change 
wrought in us poor sinners ! Once blind, now 
we see. How shall we ever praise God 
enough ? Not here, not here ; but by and by 
we will praise him without weariness for ever 
and ever. 



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I feel that the soul is really and honestly 
struggling into light. It is daybreak with me 
now. How much there is to contend with ! I 
rarely dream ; yet, for two nights past, Satan 
has been so busy with my tired brain, that he 
has filled my sleeping hours with just those 
scenes that trouble me most when awake. I 
am praying to be so wholly the Lord's, that, 
even in sleep, I shall be abiding in him. 

The other day I was trying to be good 
under adverse circumstances, when suddenly 
I showed ill-temper. Once it would have 
destroyed all peace, and I should have 
fallen into darkness and doubt : but, in a 
moment, I thought it was not intended, — 
it was a mistake, springing spontaneously 
from the force of habit ; and I looked up, 
and cried, " Forgive me, Father, for Jesus' 
sake." At once I felt the blood of sprink- 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 81 

ling applied. Will not God forgive at once ? 
Does he want tears and pleadings long ? 
I was sorry, — so sorry, that I have not 
failed in that point since. "In His love 
and in His pity he redeemed them." Love 
and pity, — love and pity: I so love these 
precious words ! 

Oh that poor, weary, tempest-tossed souls 
could take all of Christ to bear their heavy 
burdens with ! " If ye abide in me, and my 
words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, 
and it shall be done unto you." All of Christ ! 
He, in the hour of temptation, had his divinity 
to throw himself back upon : so we, in weak- 
ness, may take hold of God our strength. 

Peel too sick to think. One knows, pities, 
and loves. " When my spirit was over- 
whelmed within me, then Thou knewest my 

6 



82 DROPS OF WATER 

path."' Amid all my pain, my heart is rest- 
ing upon Infinite Love. The still small voice 
whispers often, " Be still, and know that I am 
God." 

Received a letter from M to-day. The 

tone was very sad, and she expressed solici- 
tude with regard to me ; but u I have received 
good at the hand of the Lord, and shall I not 
receive evil?'' My own heart is calm and 
still, in harmony with the outer world. Feel 
alone, — such perfect heart - solitude \ but I 
am only continuing with Jesus. He was like 
a pelican of the wilderness, and an owl of the 
desert. 

The promise, "According to thy day, so shall 
thy strength be," has been fully verified, phy- 
sically and spiritually. I have been able, in 
my weakness, to attend to all that was needful : 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



83 



and when remarks were made, causing the heart 
to bleed, God bent tenderly over me, and whis- 
pered, "I have torn, and will heal; I have 
smitten, and will bind up." 

Have felt calm to-day. My portion from 
the divine Word was, " Help me, 0 Lord ! for 
I am weak; strengthen me according to thy 
word." " My strength shall be made perfect 
in weakness." Resting in God ! All is well. 
Though hope is deferred long, the heart does 
not grow sick ; for it rests upon the immutable 
will of God. 

Life has many burdens, I know ; but strength 
equal to our burden counteracts the pressure. 
Do you think we fully appreciate this idea of 
equality in the divine life ? If we did, life 
would have less crosses. Lest I should lose 



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the beautiful idea, I have written down the 
formula, — 

Strength = to Burden. 

These have been beautiful weeks, — these 
seven that I have lain so sweetly in the arms 
of Jesus. Am perfectly happy still: no anx- 
ious thought disturbs the deep calm of my soul. 
Since I am prostrated, and can do nothing 
myself, it seems so easy to let God do all ! I 
have never lost the power of that thought 
that was whispered to me by the Spirit that 
last night we were together : " God loves you 
better than you can love yourself ; your in- 
terests are as dear to him as to you : wait 
and trust." I hope I may never be left again 
to doubt the love and care of my Father, lest 
I again be accused with, " 0 ye of little faith ! 
wherefore didst thou doubt ? " 



FEOM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



85 



Oil these precious sick-room hours with 
Jesus ! The place seems to me like the very 
vestibule of glory. Such sweet manifestations 
of the divine presence ! — such holy commun- 
ings in the night-watches, when feverish and 
restless ! Surely He giveth his beloved rest. 

I have not felt at all good of late. It has 
been so long since I have been with those that 
are deeply devoted, so long since I have had 
the soul-inspiring influence of meetings, that 
I seem to be getting careless and languid in 
my feelings. But no matter how much 
earthly aid we have: it is Christ, after all, 
that we need. Precious Jesus ! How wretched 
I should be without him ! and yet how cold 
is my love ! 

" Cold in my warmest vows, — vain my truest; 
Thoughts of a lingering hour, — 
Our lips repeat them, our hearts forget them." 



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Oh ! may my faith rise and stretch her wings, 
taking hold of the promises of God, that joy 
may abound, and peace flow like a river ! 

How tenderly Jesus draws me to himself, 
and whispers, " I have betrothed thee unto 
me in righteousness " ! Sweet Jesus ! pre- 
cious, loving Saviour ! infinite condescension ! 
Yet I do believe thou art mine, and I am thine. 
Never did I love thee as I do now ; and yet 
how weak my love, compared with thine ! Oh 
for a more perfect union with thyself, and a 
nature more assimilated to thy own ! 

" How precious are thy thoughts unto me, 
0 God! how great is the sum of them!" 
My soul feeds upon the divine Word! How 
like crumbs are portions dealt out to us from 
time to time as we need them ! " The Lord 
is thy keeper ; the Lord is thy shade upon 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



87 



thy right hand." " They shall prosper that 
love thee." How can I doubt, though clouds 
and darkness are round about ? I do love my 
God : hence " no evil can befall me." 

I congratulate you on the weary, prostrated 
condition of which you write ; for the abun- 
dance of grace, and the rich experience that 
attends suffering, are so desirable, that I ever 
feel that I would be congratulated instead of 
pitied. And then God's love to his suffering 
ones is so peculiarly tender ! " He shall gently 
lead those that are with young;" i.e., any 
special burden or weakness. Always when 
I am suffering intensely, or more especially 
after the keenness of the suffering is past, 
and I lie weak and prostrated, then the silvery 
accents of the voice of Christ are heard, 
breaking the stillness of my sick-room, and 
saying, " I will gather the lambs with my arm, 



88 DROPS OF WATER 



and carry them in my bosom." Faith makes 
the promise mine. I am a weak lamb. He 
takes me up in his arms, and carries me over 
the rough places of my suffering ; requiring 
nothing of me but to be still, and rest upon 
his bosom. The one idea, that infinite arms 
are holding me, is such a vivid soul-realiza- 
tion, such an actuality, that I seem to have no 
fears or wants. I only rest, and am satisfied. 

My nature is confiding. It is almost as 
easy for me to lean my head on Jesus' breast, 
and believe that he loves me, as it was for the 
beloved disciple. When I view my heart so 
deformed and corrupt, in my utter nothing- 
ness and unloveliness, I am so wretched, that 
the heart instinctively reaches out for some- 
thing ; and where could I go but to J esus ? 
I run to him, and so confidingly too, that he 
throws over my pollution his own glorious 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



robe of righteousness. He washes away every 
stain in his own precious blood ; and then it 
seems the Father cannot help loving me, when 
he sees the seal of the covenant upon the soul 
redeemed and made white. I once felt afraid 
of God, and would hide myself in Christ, and 
not take my thoughts from him ; but now 
Christ has revealed God to me, not as a Being 
of absolute holiness and justice alone, but as 
God the Father. There is tenderness in the 
very term. Then why approach God so tim- 
idly, with so little confidence ? We surely 
take the very way Jesus told us : " No man 
cometh unto the Father but by me." " I am 
the door : by me if any man enter in, he 
shall be saved." How positive ! " Lord, I 
believe." 

I feel so happy and trusting just now, and 
take so much comfort in literally looking unto 



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Jesus ! Temptation and sin so quickly lose 
power ! One look suffices to overcome. Trials 
come thick and fast; many things are against 
me : but the one precious thought, that there is 
an ever-present Jesus, sufficeth. 

How sweetly the words of Jesus fell upon 
my heart to-day ! " — "I will pray the Father 
for thee." Jesus praying for me, — always 
pleading my cause to the Father ! Oh won- 
drous thought! Take thou hold of it, my soul, 
and be strong. 

Yesterday, while reading Psalm cv., my 
faith looked up to the Mighty One who could 
cause water to gush forth from the rock ; and 
kneeling beside my bed, where so many 
prayers have been offered, I cried, " If it be 

possible, restore dear M ; to health, that 

she may engage actively in Thy service." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



91 



Jesus is interceding for you and for me. I 
have left the petition in His hands who is 
faithful. I rest upon His word, which is my 
delight. 

Wearisome days and nights are appointed 
now ; but by the eye of faith do I see God. 
" I know that my Eedeemer lives," — lives 
to pity, love, and pray for me. 

" God is love, I know, I feel : 
Jesus weeps and loves me still." 

You ask, dear sister, if it is well with me. 
It is well. My faith still clings to that blessed 
Saviour who has never yet forsaken me, and 
who has said, " Lo, I am with you alway." 
While leaning on the arm of my Beloved, I 
fear no evil. Clinging to him, borne by him, 
I can safely glide across the dark and narrow 
stream, lighted by the radiance of his own 



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glory, and rise triumphantly as he, our Re- 
deemer, has risen. 

Oh blessed assurance ! God knoweth best. 
And soon this assurance shall infinitely out- 
stretch that resulting from faith, which is the 
evidence of things not seen ; for, being like 
Him, " we shall see Him as he is." Then 
these trials, which by faith " work out for us 
a far more exceeding and eternal weight of 
glory," shall, as troubles, sink into the utmost 
insignificance ; but, as blessings, shall mag- 
nify the grace and tender love of our Father 
in heaven. And this time is not surely far 
away. I feel it more and more each succeed- 
ing day ; and my heart leaps with gladness as 
I grasp more fondly the glorious promise, 
"He that overcometh, the same shall be 
clothed in white raiment ; and I will not blot 
his name out of the book of life." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



93 



Mother M was in. Oh, she is so fully 

controlled by the Spirit ! Her face bears the 
image of the heavenly, and beams with a 
holy light. I can talk with her almost as 
with Christ. How sweet to interchange 
thoughts with Christ's little ones, — those who 
bear the appellation, " The disciple whom 
Jesus loved " ! 

As in weakness and pain I looked down the 
vista of the past, dwelt upon the present, 
with hopes crushed, plans foiled, and health 
gone, and, tearing away the veil, gazed out 
into the darkness of the future, I became 
restless and discontented, and cried out, 
"Why hath the Lord led me thus?" And, 
in a moment, I was conscious of letting go my 
hold of Christ. My feet slipped from their 
firm foundation. I sank down, down. Oh, it 
was fearful ! I realized as never before the 



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true source of my strength, and how I had 
been kept from sinking in all the struggle of 
life. I did not sink when all my earth-props 
were removed, because I clung to Christ ; but 
now I doubted, and Christ was gone. Willi 
what eagerness of soul I ran back to my 
offended Lord, and, with tears of penitence, 
fell upon his bosom ! Oh sweet embrace ! — 
home of the soul, how sweet ! God directed 
me to this word of inspiration, " I have led 
thee these forty years ; " which opened my eyes, 
and showed me that it was in love and ten- 
derness that he had thus dealt with me. 
Patient, infinite love ! I was humbled and 
satisfied. Thenceforth I have loved my cross ; 
for it is the way to the heavenly home and 
the crowned band. God knoweth best. Trust- 
ing, " I hold still." 

I know I shall reach the heights and depths 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



95 



of Jesus 5 love, and that soon. I shall be the 
Lord's fully and entirely. There are seasons 
when 1 feel that I am fully consecrated ; but 
faith trembles. As the little child at first can- 
not bear its own weight, but totters and falls, 
so I stagger in the way. But I will press on. 
Strength will come, I know, bringing rest and 
peace. 

Is it not sweet to say, away down deep in 
the heart, " Thy will be done " ? Please, do not 
feel solicitous. I have found the way to my 
Father's bank, and receive all needed supplies. 
I have only to tell him my needs, and he an- 
swers while I am yet speaking : " They that 
trust in the Lord shall want no good thing." 

Very deep and dark are the waters over 
which I am now passing. While I keep my eye 
steadily fixed upon Christ, my tread is firm, my 



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footing sure. I go forth with God-like strength 
and calmness. But, if for a moment I look 
down to the billows raging about me, my 
strength wanes ; I sink in deep waters. Cling- 
ing, clinging to Christ, I am safe. Each turn 
of the racking wheel but extracts a more em- 
phatic " Thy will be done." Each added trial 
but calls forth a fuller, louder song, " Holy, 
holy, holy Lord God Almighty ! " Each severe 
attack of suffering seems to hew off one more 
rough corner of my human nature, and make 
me more perfectly in the image of my Divine 
Master. Oh ! when shall I be like him ? when 
shall I fully reflect his image ? I know my 
trials are needed, and not one redundant pang 
will my Father give me. 

As I was thinking yesterday how lonely it 
would be among entire strangers, the thought 
flashed through my mind, I shall know one, — 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



97 



Jesus. My Jesus will be there. The thought 
satisfied me. It was enough. My happy heart 
bounded to his infinite embrace. I was 
soothed and comforted with the whisperings of 
my Beloved, " I will never leave thee nor for- 
sake thee." 

I love my cross ; my pains are sweet ; for 
Christ gives me the whole of himself to bear 
them with. I am very sure God has a design 
in all that he has appointed. 

"Its end may come, and will to-morrow, 
"When God has done his work in me." 

How mysterious are the ways of God ! " But 
what to us is shadow, to him is day ; and the 
end thereof he knoweth." 

" Be not weary in well-doing ; for in due 
season ye shall reap, if ye faint not. I will not 

7 



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leave you comfortless. Be strong, and of good 
courage ; fear not, neither be afraid of them : 
for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go 
with thee ; he will not fail thee, nor forsake 
thee." Thank God for this strong tower of 
defence ! 

GOD'S SPARROW. 

Luke xii. 6, 7. 

I wake with morning's freshness to find the prom- 
ise true, — 
He giveth his beloved — 
His wearied and beloved — 
Sleep, falling on the drooping lids like purple 
evening-dew. 

I join the mighty chorus ; but gentle is my lay : 
For quivering is the harp-string — 
The sorrow-tensioned harp-string — 

That teemeth with its music from morn till clos- 
ing day. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



99 



I pray the heavenly Father my daily need supply, 

And send the angel-raven — 

Good old Elijah's raven — 
To give me earthly manna when for my bread I cry. 

In days of olden story, the angels walked abroad, 
With blessings for the holy, — 
The faithful and the holy, — 

Who bore upon the door-posts the sprinklings of 
their Lord. 

God now has earthly angels, who hear the still 
small voice, 
And, with their well-filled baskets, — 
Their dantily-filled baskets, — 
Go forth to bless the humble, and make the heart 
rejoice. 

By them my daily portion is meted out to me ; 
For I'm an humble sparrow, — 
A weakly, trusting sparrow, — - 

Whose wings are clipped on purpose, providing 
care to see. 



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Ay, oft our heavenly blessings are masked in 
Sorrow's shroud. 
What seem but heavy burdens 
Are richly-freighted guerdons, 
While steadily the sunbeam is fluttering in the 
cloud. 

It needs a holy vision to pierce through God's 
intent ; 
A lofty faith to guide us 
In all that may betide us 
While, through these darkly windings, our weary 
steps are bent. 

With faith in God's dear promise, I'll love the 
appointed way ; 
Not anxious for the morrow, — 
The misty, veiled morrow, — 
But singing in my sorrow, 
God careth for the sparrow, with each returning 
day. 




Chap. III. 



Page ioi. 



III. 

SELF-CONSECRATION. 

OUR request for mutual prayer, 
upon the all-important subject 
of entire consecration, makes 
me feel strangely. It seems to 
bring the question to a point 
where I must decide it at once. 
Yet how can I ? I believe 
fully, firmly, in perfect love ; but can I be 
holy? 

When I become thus personal, the mind 

gets into a whirl ; for there is so much to be 

overcome, — much pride, such desires to be 

101 




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humbled, and yet such a dread of being hum- 
bled! 

How much there is in and around us to 
prevent a holy life ! How the serpent of sin 
peers up his ugly head, and leers and laughs, 
and twines himself about us, till we are bound 
hand and foot, and the very life in us dies ! 

Yet, God helping me, I, too, will cry, u Cru- 
cify me, crucify me ! " 

" I can but perish if I go : 
I am resolved to try." 

You query if I have any of those trials pe- 
culiar to helpless invalids. Ah, dear ! I long 
to tell you. I try to keep ever before me the 
idea of " bearing all things, enduring all 
things," and, like Jesus, to open not my 
mouth. 

Am so glad I thus rigidly disciplined myself 



PROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 103 

when strong ! for it is so much easier now in 
my weakness ! 

When I am comfortable, I am surprised at 
my unmoved, untroubled state of feeling ; but, 
when weak from constant suffering, the strug- 
gle is more severe. But nerves, too, must be 
taught patience. Religion can do it : it does 
do it. Thank God ! 

I wonder that all Christians are not holy. 
They must be ; they must be ! Oh the great 
chasm between Jesus and the soul ! When 
will the soul startle into new life ? 

The week is overpast ; but I am nearer 
heaven. Precious have been its privileges, 
drawing my heart upward. If consecration, 
and living solely in looking to Jesus, will make 




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a soul " whiter than snow," I trust to be pure 
in heart. 

I feel so quiet and calm, and keep looking 
upward! and it is easier now to discern the 
dividing-line between temptation and sin. I 
would not be less harsh with myself; but 
I find, on closest scrutiny, that sometimes I 
may stumble, and not sin. 

I commenced this month to fast every 
Thursday morning, and to spend two or three 
hours alone with God in heart-searching, care- 
ful Bible-study, and prayer. I do enjoy the 
season very much, and am conscious of rapid 
spiritual growth. I am guarding myself 
against over-eating, knowing that I often eat 
more than nature demands, simply to gratify 
appetite. I consider it to be wrong, as it in- 
jures the stomach, and oppresses the mind, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 105 



preventing a lively exercise of faith. I can 
enjoy prayer much better after a light meal : 
hence, when I have eaten plentifully of the 
first course, I deny myself of dessert, however 
tempting it may be. I am thus benefited in 
a twofold sense, — health is promoted, and self 
crucified. 

One after another of my human feelings is 
crucified ; self is gradually dying ; Jesus is all. 

I find my conscience becoming tender upon 
various matters, — eating, drinking, convers- 
ing, &c. The idea might seem a narrow one 
to many, simply a scrupulous notion ; but, to 
the advanced Christian, they become matters 
of importance. I love these gentle sugges- 
tions of the Spirit with reference to a close 
walk. I was visiting a short time since, of an 
evening, in the family of a friend. There was 



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a painful want of sociability ; and, in my at- 
tempt to remove it, I became too loquacious. 
On returning, I felt dissatisfied. In my effort 
to make myself agreeable, I had not every 
moment kept myself under the control of the 
Holy Spirit. And yet it was* not the charac- 
ter of my words, but the amount of talking, 
that I felt did not quite please my heavenly 
Father. " Let no corrupt communication pro- 
ceed out of your mouth ; but that which is 
good to the use of edifying, that it may minis- 
ter grace unto the hearers." 

I find it is better to think of Christ than to 
dwell upon imperfect, erring, stumbling self. 
I am praying that self may be crushed out, — 
that it may die. When self dies, then Christ 
is all. Not "my own, not my own, but His 
who bought me with his blood, and sprinkles 
that cleansing blood continually. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



107 



The soul seems to have grown sensitive 
since Thursday. Light expressions from 
others, or any thing not strictly holy, has given 
me pain, causing the soul to shrink, just as 
the plant folds up at the slightest touch of the 
finger. Jesus was not pleased at such, and I 
want to be just like him in every thing. 

God teaches us our lessons one by one, as 
we are able to receive them. I am conscious, 
in the discipline I am now receiving, God is 
teaching me unselfishness. How much I want 
this ruling evil rooted out of my heart, that I 
may love to do for others as well as myself ! 

When I find myself more than usually in 
earnest to become perfected in any of the 
Christian graces, I have increased opportunities 
given me to exercise them, and in a greater 
degree. I have felt these little trials to be so 



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needful, that I have almost regarded the 
authors of them as blameless, and suffering on 
my account. 

I am praying to be humbled. God is an- 
swering my prayer, and crumbling my pride. 
Yet will I pray, " Humble me to the very 
dust ! " The severest trial for months came 
to me Saturday. But I regard it in answer 
to prayer ; for it was a humbling trial, — one 
that did me much good. God knows best : I 
can endure what he sends. 

Trials affect us in proportion to the strength 
we have. When very weak physically, little 
things annoy me ; but I find in the precious 
Word an antidote full and efficient : " Be 
strong in the grace that is in Christ." 

I am strangely perverse sometimes ; but 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 109 

Jesus is so kind, that my heart swells in ten- 
derness, and I keep loving him, notwithstand- 
ing my waywardness and many imperfections. 

Have been trying very hard this week to 
carry out the perfect rule of Christ, and do by 
others as I would like to be done by. 

The Holy Spirit taught me I had been 
unwilling to bear this trial. Had it been sick- 
ness, I should have at once recognized God's 
will ; but this was a trial so entirely new, that, 
for the time, I forgot that I might cast even 
this burden upon the Lord. 

But, as faith took hold upon God, " a pres- 
ent help," a flood of glory, came and swept 
away my sadness, and wafted my soul into 
the haven of God's great, loving bosom ; and, 
as I rested there, I was enabled to look back 
upon the great deep, and see how God had led 
me. Oh wondrous love ! 



110 



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The trial is not removed ; but " grace 
sufficient " makes the burden light, and all 
is well. 

Have felt so dissatisfied with myself of 
late ! There seems no good thing in me. I 
commit errors in all my attempts to do good, 
and my life seems a failure. 

How solemn a thing to live ! God grant 
wisdom and a sanctified judgment ! for I 
know not the way in which I should go. 

Watch and pray. If we do this, we shall 
be kept from fretting and chafing under the 
ordinary perplexities of life. If we are con- 
quered by our human feelings, in what do 
we differ from the world ? " Do not the pub- 
licans the same ? " It has been truly said, 
"The Christian life is constant warfare, 
constant victory." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. Ill 

On making a proposition, and receiving no 
answer of sympathy, the question occurred, 
" Will it always be thus, as it ever has been, 
that these finer feelings of the heart must be 
so little appreciated ? " And the answer came, 
" Not there, not there, my child ! " 

So many little heart-trials of late ! But in- 
stead of asking to have them lessened, or my 
trials removed, I have prayed for grace to 
bear them in the meek, loving spirit of Jesus, 
" who was oppressed and afflicted, yet he 
opened not his mouth." 

The poor heart, like the roe heated in the 
chase, pants for God, the living God. "When 
shall I come and appear before God ? " How 
repeatedly we feel the deep incisions of the 
pruning-knife, and hear the Master saying, 



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" Every branch that beareth fruit, I purge 
it, that it may bring forth more fruit " ! 

Yet I would be constant and obedient, 
though all be taken from me ; for my Lord, 
" though he were a Son, yet learned he obe- 
dience by the things which he suffered ; and, 
being made perfect, he is the author of salva- 
tion unto all them that obey him." 

God has placed you just where you are : 
he has appointed you your present duties, 
and subjected you to your present trials. 
Why so ? It is surely not as a means of pun- 
ishment ; for he does not " willingly grieve 
or afflict the children of men." 

He studies our happiness as well as our 
best good : hence he must be designing this 
discipline ultimately, even in this life, for your 
good and happiness. Now, what is the lesson 
to be learned ? 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



113 



Most emphatically, long-suffering, patience, 
unselfishness. You are daily praying for 
these graces in perfection ; and it is only in 
the exercise of your own powers, with the 
use of God's grace, that this can be accom- 
plished. 

Yes, this discipline comes in answer to 
prayer. It is the only way, undoubtedly, that 
we could be perfected ; and, though the flesh 
cries out hard for life, the spirit prays that it 
may fully die. 

Have been much tempted in respect to my 
inefficiency. Every thing I do seems so unsat- 
isfactory ! Long and earnestly have I prayed 
for release ; and, thank God ! victory has come 
at last. 

I had a sweet realization of Jesus stooping 
down, and drawing me away from the coils of 

8 



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the enemy. What condescension ! Christ, the 
High and Holy, stooping for such as me ! 

" Saviour, keep me near thy side ; 
Let thy counsels be my guide ; 
Never let me from thee rove ; 
Sweetly draw me by thy love." 

Am loosing my grasp of earthly things, and 
staying my heart more steadily upon God. 

When storms of sorrow rise, he calms the 
troubled waters of the soul ; and I realize the 
sweet verification of the promise, " Great 
peace have they that love Thy law ; and 
nothing shall offend them." 

Some have been disposed to find fault with 
the course I have pursued ; but I have felt 
it an honor to be reproached for Christ while 
securely I have been hid beneath the almighty 
wing. Glory to Jesus for victory ! I am 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



115 



learning many lessons of Jesus, my blessed 
teacher. He is so patient, while I am so slow 
and hard to learn ! Dying daily ! — thou, 
dear Lord, knowest the sorrows of this 
death. 

In some positions, it seems to take all the 
energy of our moral nature to stem opposing 
influences ; hence we cannot at the time real- 
ize that we are making progress in the divine 
life : but, when our surroundings are more 
favorable, we find the resistance to stem the 
tide of earthliness has so strengthened our 
Christian character, and developed moral en- 
ergy, that, for a time, it seems so easy to " run 
the Christain race with patience. " 

In every situation, we are dependent upon 
ourselves in " working out our salvation ; " 
while always we need a strong reliance upon 
the God of strength. 



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Had a severe struggle with the Enemy last 
evening. He has too long made me a slave 
to my extreme sensitiveness ; and I resolved 
I would break away from its thraldom, and 
gain a lasting victory. For an hour I wrestled 
with God in prayer. The struggle was great. 
It was so hard to nail the darling objects of 
my love and pride to the cross, and calmly 
watch them die ! But thank God, who giveth 
us victory through Jesus Christ our Lord ! 
I rose a conqueror ; and, as I let go my hold 
of earthly objects, I sank fully into God. A 
holy indifference pervaded my heart to every 
thing of earth ; and for a long time I walked 
my room in " perfect peace," whispering 
praises to God and the Lamb, who hath re- 
deemed us, and washed us in his own precious 
blood. 

How few understand us ! and none so fully 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



117 



as Jesus. How many, many trials we have, 
that, being both relative and absolute in char- 
acter, we cannot seem to speak of to any one, 
lest we seem to be finding fault, or to make 
the faults of others too prominent ! which we 
do not like to do, as it would seem uncharita- 
ble ; and we would avoid the very appearance 
of evil. . . . 

We alone feel the trial, and we alone 
must bear it silently. And yet not alone ; 
for Jesus feels every sorrow his children bear. 
Does not his great heart yearn pityingly over 
us in our silent woe ? . . . 

Precious Jesus ! let us never grieve thee 
by a lack of confidence, but ever bring all, all 
to thee ! 

Have in two or three instances to-day tried 
to keep God's words ; but in each case it 
was so unsatisfactory to self, that, if any good 
was done, it must have been all of God. . . . 



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I notice God has been especially leading me 
thus of late ; but I would hold still, and let 
God slay self. When I hold up the cross, I 
would have that the only attraction. 

My heart condemns me for being so far 
from the " highway of holiness." I seem to 
stand in the way of God's will. Break, my 
hard heart, and yield to Him who waits to be 
gracious ! I seem to yield a little at a time, 
by degrees : but my conscience tells me all 
should go at once ; every thing should be 
swept away. 

Shall I hold out stubborn, and souls be 
lost? Remove me, my Saviour, from the 
way, and let the tide of thy love sweep on 
and melt souls ! 

You ask if our temptations are less in 
strength and number after sanctification. Our 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



119 



temptations arise from three sources, —the 
world, the flesh, and the Devil. Those aris- 
ing from the world and the flesh are less 
after the heart is fully sanctified, because we 
are then " dead to the world, " — dead to its 
fashions, its customs, its maxims, and pleas- 
ures. . . . 

The world stands in contrast with heaven ; 
and it appears so very insignificant, that few 
temptations arise from that source. . . . 

Again : the flesh is crucified with the affec- 
tions and lusts, and the whole tide of our 
feelings and desires is changed. The things 
we once loved, now we hate ; and the things 
we once hated, now we love : so that the tide 
of temptation from this source, which has so 
readily overcome us before, is now rolled 
back. . . . 

But, so long as the Christian remains in the 
world, so long will he be subject to the as- 



120 



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saults of the Devil. We shall never be more 
pure, more fully sanctified, than our blessed 
Master ; and yet how strong and how nu- 
merous were his temptations ! 

It is the great aim of the Adversary to pre- 
vent us from getting to heaven : and the more 
earnest we are in striving to reach the heav- 
enly goal, the more diligent we are in 
prosecuting our journey, the more diligent 
is the great Enemy of our souls ; so that the 
sanctified heart finds his assaults increased in 
strength and number. 

Wept bitterly to-day over my selfish heart. 
There are times when I have to struggle very 
hard to deny myself, and love my neighbor as 
I would be loved. 0 unselfishness, thou art 
a jewel ! When shall I have thee in full pos- 
session ? " He that overcome th will I make 
a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 121 

go no more out ; and I will write upon him 
my new name." 

Dr. R , in his prayer this morning, 

asked that we might bid a " God-speed " to 
every one that could do better, appear better, 
and learn better, than ourselves. A hearty 
response to this welled up from my soul. . . . 

Oh, how I long to have the root of envy and 
pride fully eradicated from my heart ! . . . 

It will be pleasant to reach heaven, be- 
cause we are so sure of being free from all 
evil there. 

Have been looking steadily upward. My 
attention has been called to " For ye have 
need of patience and I have had to manu- 
facture so much to-day, as from time to time 
little careless words have been dropped ! How 
comforting, In all these heart-trials, to know 
Jesus is afflicted ! 



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Feel deeply humble. Am so unlike Christ ! 
and yet I dare not look at self, but keep 
looking to the Lamb of God. One look of 
penitence and faith to Him, our present Sa- 
viour, is worth more than hours of self-abase- 
ment, or years of trying to make one's self 
better. 

Have felt especially the importance of keep- 
ing " my mouth with a bridle while the 
wicked are before me." 

" Speak well of all : 
'Twill be a medicine to thy own heart." 

My heart seems languid in its spiritual pul- 
sation, still and emotionless. Have deep and 
abasing views of self; but it makes the ful- 
ness of Christ and his all-sufficiency more 
apparent. Would that I could feel it more ! 
but non-feeling is controlled by God, as well 
as feeling. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



123 



I would lie passive as clay in the hands of 
the potter. It is not by emotion, but by 
faith, we stand. 

I see in Christ an infinite store, all for me ; 
but when shall I attain to it? My longing 
soul is impatient at this snail-pace movement 
heavenward. I wonder I do not, as on the 
wings of thought, leave all that looks toward 
sin, or has any affinity for it, and seek the 
most intimate communion with Christ. I 
lean too much upon self, too little upon the 
all-sufficient One, who feeds the hungry soul 
with fatness. 

" Nearer, my God, to thee ; nearer to thee ! " 

I am trying not to be influenced so much 
by emotion ; not to study experience so much, 
but Christ more. He is the grand model by 
which I would shape my inner life : upon his 



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pure and faultless life would I ever keep my 
eye fixed. Precious Christ ! Can it be that 
I may be " changed into the same image, 
from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of 
the Lord"? 

How responsible the life of a Christian ! 
How much depends upon his acts, looks, and 
words ! The thought has impressed me 
strongly of late. 

I must walk carefully, so that poor souls 
may not become bewildered, and wonder if 
there is a reality in what the Christian pro- 
fesses. 

"I FEAR I AM TOO HAPPY." 

This joy that now my being thrills, 

I fear its potent sway ; 
For this is earth, where purest joy 

Lasts only for a day, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 

And then the midnight clouds of gloom 
Are blown athwart our way. 

This casket with a priceless gem — 

A loving, human heart, 
On which to lean when weak and lone 

In all life's sterner part — 
Is a gift so dear, I fear too soon 

Will come the arrow's dart. 

I would not of this heavenly gift 

An earthly idol make, 
But bring it to the shrine above, 

And love it for Christ's sake ; 
For He who giveth every gift 

Has the same power to take. 

But daily does my prayer ascend 

That I may purer be ; 
And, as God's chosen ones are led 

In ways they cannot see, 



DROPS OF WATER* 



I tremble, lest my darling prop 
May be removed from me. 

God's will be done ! I cannot tell 
What shadows dark may fall ; 

But, sure his love will seek my good, 
I leave the future's pall, 

And, trusting, work with busy hands 
To meet the present call. 

His thoughts are higher than our own 
His ways are just and right : 

And though he goeth forth in clouds, 
Girded with power and might, 

Yet gold and purple is his garb, 
When we can see aright. 

Saviour all pure and glorious, 

I bring my gem to thee ; 
Burnish and fit it for thy crown, 

My dear beloved and me : 
And, when our work is finished here, 

Bring us thy face to see ! 



CROSS-BEARING. 




>ES, I often think of a " home 
in heaven." The very thought 
fills my soul with rapture. 
When the time comes for me 
to go home, if strength is given, 
I shall shout aloud for joy. 
But I feel the time is not yet. 
I am like the man sent by his government 
to some foreign country to transact business 
of great importance. In that distant clime, 
he thinks of his own dear native land; and that 
sunny spot, his own sweet home : and there 

127 



128 



DROPS OF WATER 



come ardent longings for the dear ones he 
has left behind. 

But he remembers the duty he owes to his 
country, the trust which has been committed 
to him ; and though he loves his home so 
well, yet he would not return to it one mo- 
ment before his work is done. 

Thus have I a work, a great work, to do; 
and though I love to think of home and rest, 
and the loved who are gone before, waiting 
to welcome me on the bright shore ; though 

"I would not live alway away from my God/' — 

yet I would live, be . my lot ever so hard, 
my sufferings ever so great, till I can say with 
mv blessed Master, " I have finished the work 
Thou gavest me to do." 

Whatever good we do, small though it be, 
has a reflex influence upon ourselves. Giving, 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



129 



we receive ; teaching, we learn. " It is more 
blessed to give than to receive/' saith the 
Master. 

On reading your letter, I longed to be near 
you, that I might, by the assistance of God, 
stay up your hands. My heart ached for 
you as I read of your toiling long and ear- 
4 nestly in the vineyard ; and when the hopes 
you had so long cherished were about to be 
realized, that then you should have such a 
trial of your faith ! . . . I wonder not that 
the tears would come, and that tired nature 
almost sank to the earth. Oh ! when we try 
with all our strength to labor for those around 
' us ; when we get a view of the imminent 
danger of those out of Christ ; when we 
realize the great responsibility resting upon 
the followers of Christ, and yet see them so 
unwilling to come up to the help of the Lord 

9 



130 



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against the mighty, — oh ! then, how we fly- 
to the bosom of Jesus, and there pour out our 
sorrows ! for we are sure of finding sympathy 
in him if all other sources fail. Dear Saviour, 
let us rest in thy arms from the conflict a 
little season, that we may gather strength for 
the great work thou hast given us to do. ■ 

Tried to breathe the name of Jesus to a poor 
sinner very near his end. He was so sick, it 
seemed difficult for him to grasp the idea of 
a Saviour by faith. Poor soul ! if he, in health, 
had been obedient, now he could sing, — 

"Jesus! the name that charms our fears, 
That bids our sorrows cease." 

Father, have mercy ! — only that can save 
from guilt and sin. 

When I speak to my school upon the sub- 
ject of religion, I am surprised to see how 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 131 



much tenderness they exhibit. They are 
nearly all moved to tears. But I know God 
is the same, whatever the instrument. . . . 

Oh that I may be the vessel of the Lord to 
bear the water of life to these precious spirits ! 

Pelt directed to speak a word of cheer to 
Miss R. ; but she remarked, " I am in a hur- 
ry." I replied, " I will detain you but a mo- 
ment ; " and then whispered, " I am praying 
for you." God smiled; but I could not help 
thinking, How earthly ! Nothing quUe to our 
taste here, but always something unsatisfac- 
tory, — just enough to turn our thoughts 
Godward. 

No : my work is not yet done. If so, why 
this constant outreaching and earnestness of 
soul, this intensity of feeling, and love for 
sinners ? I sometimes feel that I must rise 



132 



DROPS OF WATER 



up, and go out and save that " other " one left 
upon the wreck of sin and death. 

As I receive more of God, my love for the 
lost increases ; and I so long to bear the water 
of life to earth's poor thirsty children ! 

How many were hurried into eternity by 
that sad typhoon ! God hasten the time when 
a " nation shall be born in a day" ! 

4 

I am obliged to leave school, and go home. 
Once, on such a disappointment, I should have 
longed for my heavenly home ; but I do not 
feel those impatient longings now. . . . 

My prayer is, " Cut me not off in the midst 
of my days, but spare me yet to labor in the 
vineyard of my Master." 

Am so tired ! but God giveth his beloved 
rest. Find so much to keep the mind on the 
stretch ! But I love to toil for Christ. " It 



FEOM MANY FOUNTAINS. 133 

matters not whether crowned or crownless," 
since he is glorified, and God's will is done. 

Have been conversing with Brother V 

upon the deep things of God, and feel that it 
has been of mutual profit. Had the sweet con- 
sciousness that God was using me as his own 
chosen vessel, and that the Holy Spirit was 
controlling every word and thought. . . . 

It is painfully sad that so much of our re- 
ligion consists of theory, and that we have 
so little of the power of godliness. . . . 

Oh that men would take hold upon God, 
carrying him into their entire lives ! Only 
thus can we be a power to move the world. 

There seems to be danger of making the 
cross of Christ a boast. Think I am less ex- 
posed to that temptation here than in some 
places. . . . 



134 



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The fulness that dwells in the Godhead 
bodily seems to be so little appreciated by the 
mass of Christians, that when I speak of Jesus, 
or any heart-experience, I seem to have to do 
it in obedience to the command, " Let your 
light so shine before men, that they may see 
your good works, and glorify your Father 
which is in heaven." . . . 

God smiles sweetly ; and that satisfies me. 
Jesus was not understood, even by his own 
disciples: so are we comparative strangers, 
though journeying together as the children 
of a King. 

Have been trying to lead J to Jesus. 

Feel so very happy in the work of raising 
fallen mortals up to Christ the crucified ! He 
smiles upon my weak endeavors, making the 
burden light. . . . 

Oh wondrous privilege, to co-operate with 
Divinity in saving a lost world ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 135 



We have had the news of dear L.'s death. 
My first thought was of his poor soul : then 
came the thought, " I did what I could." 
It was some comfort to me ; but I cannot 
know whether it proved good to him or not. 
Earnestly did I labor for him when he was 
under my care ; and nightly, during his ab- 
sence, have I brought him to the altar of 
God. Would that I could know he looked to 
the Lamb of God in those last hours of life ! 
but I cannot till that great day that shall dis- 
close the secrets of men, and bring to light 
the hidden things of darkness. 

I am having a new cross to bear, and have 
need of peculiar strength. One by one do 
earthly sources fail, till sometimes it seems 
we have none but Jesus left. With him I 
will walk the rugged way,, that I may share 
his glory hereafter.. 



136 



DROPS OF WATER 



" Father, I thank thee for the cross 
So kindly to me given, 
To make me think the less of earth, 
And more of thee and heaven." 

I intends to sail to-morrow. What can 

I say to hini about his unsaved soul ? Will 
write a letter, and put it with the home- 
parcel, to be found when he is away. Spirit 
Divine, attend the word, and fix his roving 
heart on God and heaven ! 

At the prayer-meeting last evening, the 
house was filled. Souls were hungering for 
the bread of life ; but there seemed to be no 
one to feed them. . . . 

I could not let the evening pass in silence, 
knowing I should meet those souls at the 
judgment. I talked, prayed, and sung, as 
the Spirit gave utterance. Hearts were moved, 
and eyes filled with tears, as boldly I stood 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 137 

up for Jesus, and spoke of the power of his 
love. 

Glorious grace, that restores the soul to 
union with Christ, and enables us to be co- 
workers with him in the salvation of the 
world ! Go -on in thy holy work, and labor 
of love ; for " they that go forth weeping, 
bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come 
again with rejoicing, bringing their sheaves 
with them." 

"I have given all for Jesus ; 

Henceforth, then, 
It matters not if storm or sunshine be 
My earthly lot, bitter or sweet my cup : 
I only pray, God fit me for the work, 
God make me holy, and my spirit nerve 
For the stern hour of strife ! " 



God, in his infinite wisdom, permits some 



138 



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of his children to labor in his vineyard, but 
never to see the fruit of their labors till 
heaven's light dawns upon them. On earth 
they must toil on, only upheld by the sure 
promise, — the seed will spring up, and God 
will be glorified, though they see it not. . . . 

Doubtless much of your labor as a teacher 
must be thus wrought ; but when, in our 
utter weakness, we are tempted to discourage- 
ment and doubt, we will remember that not 
one prayer from the truly trusting heart falls 
upon the divine ear unheeded. 

Since I commenced to write, two little black 
boys came in to see me. One has just become 
a Christian : the other desires to be. I had a 
sweet season with them, and felt my own 
heart burn within me as I pointed them to 
the spotless Lamb for sinners slain. . . . 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 139 

How happy I am in this holy work of cry- 
ing, " Behold, behold, the Lamb ! " 

New duties to-day. Thus are they ap- 
pointed, while we obey the injunction, to deny 
ourselves daily, and take up the cross, and fol- 
low Christ. 

" One by one thy duties wait thee ; 
Let thy whole strength go to each : 
Let no future dreams elate thee ; 

Learn thou first what these can teach." 

I love the ambition of Caesar and Napoleon, 
though unsanctified ; and do not wonder that 
Alexander wept that he had not another world 
to conquer. I would be thus ambitious for 
God and his cause. Oh for a zeal that will 
urge us on to the steady contest till the Ene- 
my be conquered, and we win a crown bril- 
liant with immortal gems ! 




140 



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This place, where I have spent so many 
happy and profitable hours, seems very dear 
to me ; but, as I leave it, it is sweet to 
think I am going forth to labor for a good 
Master, and in a glorious cause. . . . 

When I think of my Saviour's love, how 
much he endured and suffered for me, I feel 
that no sacrifice is too much, no labor too 
great, for Him who merits all my love. 

It seems sometimes strange to me that 
every one is not in earnest, doing with their 
might what their hands find to do. . . . There 
is so much to be done, and so short a time in 
which to do it ! Eternity, eternity, eternity ! 
and only a brief hour to make ready for it ! 

" Every hour that fleets so slowly 
Has its task to do or bear : 
Luminous the crown, and holy, 
If thou set each gem with care.'" 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 141 

Have been laboring with A . Oh that 

he could enter into this blessed rest of faith ! 
It keeps the heart so calm and peaceful, while 
all may be tumult without ! 

" If all the world my Saviour knew, 
Sure all the world would love him too." 

I do love the cross. There is such a glory 
surrounding it, that, when I draw near to take 
it up, my soul is permeated and filled unutter- 
ably full of glory and of God. Then is the 
cross a delight, and no burden. Glorious 
grace, that can give worms like us such holy 
boldness ! 

Have been conversing with Mr. W . I 

hope none of us will set our standard of piety 
so low as to miss of heaven. 

How sad it would be to hear the Judge say, 
" I never knew you " ! 



142 



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" Oh, what a glorious record had the angels of me kept, 
Had I done instead of doubted, had I warred instead of 
wept." 

Dear A has at last entered into rest. 

She was powerfully wrought upon by the Spirit 
in the female prayer-meeting ; and, when we 
returned home, we bowed together till a late 
hour, pleading for mercy. When she did lay 
herself helpless at the foot of the cross, peace 
filled her heart, and a divine light rested upon 
her countenance. 

Sweet was the season of rejoicing; and 
heaven echoed with the glad cry, "Another 
soul is born of God ! " May she ever be thine, 
0 God ! All glory to the bleeding Lamb ! 
Sinners are coming home ! 

The year has passed, freighted with many 
mercies to me. I rejoice that I have been 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



143 



counted worthy to labor in the vineyard. 
Have learned many lessons at the cross, and 
gained many victories over self. 

Would have my whole will swallowed up in 
the divine ; then can I go forth to do battle 
for the Lord unto certain victory. 

" Two golden hours, each set with a jewel 
of sixty minutes. No reward is offered ; for 
they are lost, ■ — irrevocably lost ! " 

This thought has roused every energy of 
my being. Time, though precious, is flying ; 
souls are being lost ; and I must rest not by 
the way, but work, work. 

A missionary association is said to have 
adopted this device, found on an ancient 
medal, which represented a bullock standing 
between a plough and an altar, with this in- 
scription, " Ready for either, — ready for toil 
or for sacrifice." 



144 



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Exalting thought ! Whatever my mission, 
whether toil or suffering, I would ever say, 
" Ready for either." 

" Nearer the port by every wave. 
Be strong, my heart ! my soul, be brave ! 
Theirs the gain who suffer loss ; 
Theirs the crown who bear the cross." 

The burden of souls rests heavily upon me. 
I want to bear the water of life to every one I 
meet. So did the blessed Christ, when he 
stood on that great day of the feast, and cried, 
"If any man thirst, let him come unto me 
and drink." 

1 fear I have too much overlooked the 
little opportunities for usefulness in my ar- 
dent desire to do some great work ; but I am 
resolved to do so no longer. It is the little 
things that make up life. A smile, a tear, a 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 145 



tender word of love, may do so much to 
lighten heavy burdens ! 

If I am cut off from the path in which my 
ambition would lead me, I will faithfully study 
the little opportunities of doing good, and 
cheerfully perform my work therein. 

Controlled by the Holy Spirit, clothed in 
Christ's righteousness, we may be a living 
power, in whatever capacity we move or act. 

Have realized God "a present help" in 
carrying out my resolution to be more active 
in spiritual labor in school. Have felt so hap- 
py in doing little errands for the Lord ! 

Duty done brings its own sure reward. 
Help I every moment need, that I may let no 
opportunity of usefulness slip. 

"Do with thy might whatsoever thy hand 
10 



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findeth to do " has been reiterated in my 
hearing by the Holy Spirit, till I have seemed 
to regard earth as one broad field for action, 
where there is no room or time for one idle 
spectator. 

Have been filling up my spare moments in 
conversing with sinners. Wrote a note of 
spiritual encouragement to Miss D.,~for which 
she seemed very grateful. God is beautifully 
leading her up the shining way. 

Have been greatly blessed in bearing the cross 
of late. I am surprised that we have so much 
trembling and fear, when the promises are so 
full and sufficient. " They that wait upon 
the Lord shall renew their strength ; they 
shall mount up with wings as eagles ; they 
shall run, and not be weary ; and they shall 
walk, and not faint." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 147 



Am holding a little prayer-meeting for the 
children. There is a deep interest ; and sev- 
eral have sought and found Jesus, to the joy 
of their heart. Holy Spirit! guide, control, 
and make efficient. I seek not happiness or 
pleasure, — only to know and do God's will. 

My soul is continually going up in earnest, 
agonizing prayer for the impenitent. Such 
intensity of feeling makes me quite sick. 

The head, as well as the whole heart, is sick : 
but, with Moses and Paul, I could wish myself 
accursed that sinners might be saved. Still, 
0 God ! let me feel their worth. I cannot 
rest while souls are being eternally lost. Let 
me wear out, if I may ; but let me know that 
some have found life by my death, and my 
rest will be sweet in heaven. 

" Work, work, nor covet an ignoble rest : 
Allow no sloth thy spirit to beguile. 

9 



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Those love the Saviour most who serve him 
best ; 

And he who blesses others shall be blest 
With the full sunshine of his Saviour's smile." 

GO, WORK TO-DAY IN MY VINEYARD. 
Matt. xxi. 28. 

Go, waiting one, and toil ; 
The harvest-field is ready now and ripe : 
Go gather in the sheaves from yonder soil, 

And come with new delight. 

Go thou, and labor hard ; 
Wield well the weapons on the field of life : 
The foe is ever ready to retard 

When hottest is the strife. 

Work thou with steady hand. 
The Tempter's artful power is hard to foil ; 
His votaries are found in all the lands : 

Thou shoulclst not cease to toil. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 149 



Work thou with earnest mind. 
How many wayward souls there are to win ! 
Oh ! bring them to the cross, where they may find 

Forgiveness for their sin. 

Stop not to heave a sigh ; 
Rest not, though tired beneath the heavy load : 
If thou wouldst reap, faint not 'midst deserts dry, 

Or on the rugged road. 

The crown that waits thee now 
May far more bright and beautiful be made ; 
And, when the angels place it on thy brow, 

All toil will be repaid. 



PRATER. 




FREQUENT, importunate, and pro- 
tracted prayer is the link which 
closely unites the soul to Christ. 
I have decided, from this new 
year, to deprive myself of my 
morning nap, that I may have 
more time alone with God be- 
fore entering upon the duties of the day. 

Life is short: sometimes it seems all too 
short to attain to that perfect Christian char- 
acter requisite to meet the King in his beauty. 
" Evening and morning and at noon will I 



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151 



pray, and cry aloud ; and He shall hear my 
voice." 

These are days of earnestness and weari- 
ness. Some days, I can pray without ceasing ; 
while on others the wings of faith droop lan- 
guidly, and the heavens seem brazen. 

Last week was one of those interceding 
weeks when every hour was burdened with 
prayer for souls. My heart glows with ar- 
dent love for sinners. I will labor and pray : 
duty done, the result, which is God's, must be 
sure. 

How I long to do something for this people ! 
but they are so difficult to reach. Oh that I 
could raise them from their little narrow 
world up to the glad light of Jesus' presence ! 
But I can pray. How great a privilege when 
all other sources fail ! 



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" I thank Thee, too, that thou hast made 

Joy to abound ; 
That, in the darkest spot of earth, 

Some love is found : 
I thank Thee more, that all our joy 

Is touched with pain ; 
That shadows fall on brightest hours ; 

That thorns remain ; 
So that earth's bliss may be our guide, 

And not our chain." 

How sweet to commune with Jesus, — to 
know the divine ear is bent to our petitions, 
and our wants, pains, and griefs are all fa- 
miliar to him ! " Casting all your care upon 
him; for he careth for you." 

One week ago, dear M , my soul in 

prayer gained a new victory. For a long 
time, I had been tempted severely. It seemed 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS, 153 



that Satan would have me, that he might sift 
me as wheat. He tried to draw away my 
soul from its firm trust in God, and surround 
me with the darkness and mist of earth ; but, 
praise God ! he has not left my soul to Satan's 
power, but has sought me in my wanderings, 
and given me strong desires to turn unto him 
with all my soul. . 

Glory be to our God for salvation for ever 
and ever ! All is upon the altar, — a living 
sacrifice accepted, unworthy as it is, through 
the blood of the Lamb. 

My friends were unwilling that I should 
start on a journey of twelve hundred miles 
with my eyes in such an inflamed condition : 
but I had committed my way unto the Lord, — 
had prayed for his blessing upon the means 
used to restore them ; and I felt the assur- 
ance that all would be well, 



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How blessed in life's perplexities, " By 
prayer and suplication, with thanksgiving, to 
make our requests known unto God " ! 

Hide me, 0 God ! beneath the shadow of 
thy wing, till this calamity be overpast. Feel 
sick, nervous, and irritable. I go often and 
tell Jesus, and try to gather strength for the 
conflict. 

Yes, " what time I am afraid, I will trust 
in Thee." 

Moum my languor in devotions. It is a 
great comfort, when I remember the " Spirit 
maketh intercessions with groanings that 
cannot be uttered." And Jesus, too, is pray- 
ing for me. 

How can I be languid ? Rouse, my slug- 
gish soul ! 



Arose early, and enjoyed a sweet hour with 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



155 



God this morning. How refreshing the 
" bread from heaven" ! All day I have been 
drinking from the fountain-head. Blessed 
Father ! " all my springs are in- thee." 

Was enabled to draw so near to God in 
prayer, that I seemed wholly lost to self, and 
swallowed up in God. In my ardent desire 
for God, I cried out, " Crucify me, crucify 
me ! " " Take all of earth from me, if need- 
ful ; but give me an indwelling God ! " 

" Come and possess me whole, 
And never hence remove ! " 

A little heart-ache to-night, but found Je- 
sus quite ready to receive me when I went 
to tell him. Sweet Saviour ! " A bruised 
reed shall he not break, and smoking flax 
shall he not quench." 



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Feel deeply my dependence upon God. My 
prayer is, " Thou alone canst help me ; " and 
my song, " Other refuge have I none." 

Eternity alone will reveal how many of the 
mercies I have received have been in answer 
to the petitions of kind, watchful Christian 
friends. 

Have been waging warfare with the Enemy 
to-day ; but, by the grace asked for in the 
morning, I came off conqueror, and at twi- 
light enjoyed sweet, calm prayer and com- 
munion with the Triune God. "My grace 
shall be sufficient for thee." Oh strength for 
hands that hang down, and nerve for feeble 
knees ! 

Have been much troubled with wandering 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



157 



thoughts : my mind was becoming weak and 
my soul barren, when I came importunately 
to the throne of grace, and held myself plead- 
ing for help, — present help to meet just this 
emergency. 

Faith gained the victory ; and my thoughts 
were transferred from earth's worthless attrac- 
tions to God, all and in all. 

" When ye pray, believe that ye have the 
things ye ask for, and ye shall have them." 

Such a sweet hour with God ! Gently the 
door of the senses swung together ; the world 
receded far away, and God filled all my 
thoughts. 

Enjoyed the assurance that God was hear- 
ing prayer in behalf of C How sweet 
the privilege to unite with kindred minds at 
the mercy-seat ! Where two are agreed, what 
a mighty power they become in God ! 



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We are so human, so selfish and wilful, that 
we need much discipline. Holy Father ! I 
would have all the mind that was in Jesus. 
Grant me patience in suffering, wisdom in 
duty, humility in all my walk, and holiness 
in all my conversation. 

I thank God that we have One to guide us 
who will lead us aright, if we closely follow 
in the path of duty. Do you not feel stronger 
each time your faith is thus tried ? How 
sweet it is, amid perplexity and doubt, to go 
to our Father, and commit our way unto him, 
seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit ! How 
much safer we feel than with the instruction 
of any earthly friend ! for we know they are 
but human and erring in their judgment ; but 
Jesus told us, when the Comforter came, he 
should guide us into all truth. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 159 



I am often taught " how frail I am" when 
God refuses to answer my selfish prayers. He 
leads me to see wherein I have asked amiss. 

Oh to see my vileness and ignorance in 
God's true light ! then shall Christ be all. 

I stood nearly alone in advocating the cause 
of the Master, and in trying to counteract 
the influences of sin and death. 

On returning from the meeting to my 
room, I kneeled down ; but my heart was too 
full for utterance, and I simply looked a 
prayer, but all understood by the great 
Searcher of hearts. Long did I wait in com- 
munion with the Invisible, and arose in full 
possession of strength adequate to my need. 
Then was I able to say, " I can do all things 
through Christ strengthening me." 

Have been obeying the divine injunction to- 



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day, — " Pray without ceasing." The burden 
of my prayer has been for souls out of Christ. 

Have been fasting with prayer ; for " this 
kind goeth not out but by prayer and fast- 
ing." A condition of mind to wrestle effectu- 
ally with God cometh by much self-denial. 

The meeting this afternoon was glorious, 
and yet solemn on account of the presence of 
God. Have seldom witnessed so much of the 
glory and power of God. I hardly dared to 
raise my eyes to meet his awful presence. 

Earnest prayers with tears were poured out. 
God cannot tarry. He will come to bless and 
save. " All things with God are possible." 
" Only believe." 

Am enjoying very precious seasons of prayer. 
The Holy One draws near, and the whispers 
of his voice are music to the ear. The soul is 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



161 



bountifully fed in these seasons of communion, 
Oh, how we hunger for this spiritual bread ! 
how soon our energies fail without it ! " Lord, 
evermore give us this bread ! 9? 

The soul in steady and close communion 
with God is kept in perfect peace. Bless 
God ! — -in perfect peace amid the din and tur- 
moil of earth. 

Feel lonely and homesick ; and yet no 
place seems so much like home as the bosom 
of Jesus. My hungry soul has never been 
satisfied from earthly sources but in drawing 
near to Christ. 

Sweet Christ, I come ! Let me approach 
even to the holy of holies through thy blood, 
and rest my weary heart on God ! 

The Spirit has called my attention to the 

fact, that before any important work, or 
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season of trial and temptation, the Saviour 
spent long seasons in prayer and communion 
with his Father. — Matt. iv. 2, 3 ; xiv. 23 ; 
xxvi. 29. 

Thus in our seasons of soul-hunger, and 
when the heart is unusually drawn out in 
prayer, God would have us seek supplies of 
grace, which, in the hour of trial, we may use 
for his glory, and our own growth and advance- 
ment ; for he anticipates our ills, and strength- 
ens us for coming sorrow. 

There is a heavy weight upon my heart. 
To bear it, I am constantly reaching out for 
God, and clinging to the Mighty One. Soothed 
myself to sleep last night by repeating, 
" God forsakes the righteous never ; " and, 
with morning's first consciousness, I was still 
repeating, " Never ! no, never ! " 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



163 



My hours of prayer are so precious ! The 
spirit's ear catches the whispers of God, as he 
reveals to me the depths of his love and the 
grandeur of his power. 

How happy the soul that holds converse 
with Deity ! How insignificant do earthly 
joys seem when compared with an hour spent 
with God ! Oh these quiet, happy hours ! 
Can enjoy the society of Christians but little ; 
but to be with God, and enjoy his presence, is 
all, — is heaven. Glory, glory ! 

During the past few days, the soul has been 
constantly stretching out arms of faith to 
grasp Christ. I have loved to sit by the win- 
dow, and gaze up into the blue sky, where 
Christ sitteth at the right hand of the Father. 
It seems, when looking up, to bring the Triune 
God so near ! 



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u My faith looks up to thee, 
Thou Lamb of Calvary, 

Saviour divine ! 
Now hear me while I pray ; 
Take all my guilt away : 
Oh, let me from this day 
Be wholly thine ! M 

I have need to pray without ceasing in these 
days of trial. My prayer is simply for grace, 
that I may endure and be patient. 

If I bear up under the pressure, if I do not 
sink beneath my heavy weight of woe, I may 
bring much glory to God ; but, if I sink under 
my burden, God will be defeated in his holy 
purposes. 

When I keep my eye fixed upon the suffer- 
ing Christ, praying incessantly, then I feel 
strong ; but, if I dwell upon existing circum- 
stances, I weep, and am so sad ! " When my 



FEOM MANY FOUNTAINS. 165 



spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou 
knewest my path." 

Hope and trust alternate with doubting and 
sadness. Thoughts of my situation cause me 
to burst into tears ; but prayer quickly soothes 
the ruffled surface, and a smile takes the 
place of tears. 

Oh the power of prayer ! How weary and 
dark would life be without it ! 

" Help me, O Father ! when the world is pressing 
On my frail heart, which sinks without its friend : 
Help me, O Father ! let thy constant blessing 
Strengthen my weakness till the final end." 

Have been having a tried, sad day, — a day 
in which we tire of things real and tangible, 
and seem to be held in constant communion 
with the spiritual and invisible. Have so 
many times ran to lay my head on Jesus 7 
bosom, and tell him all ! 



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I think, think of your great sorrow, till nay- 
heart grows sick with heavy thoughts. May 
Jesus bare his compassionate bosom, and take 
you in, while all his waves and billows are 
passing over you ! 

He trod the wine-press alone, and knows 
all your grief. Look unto him, and you shall 
find rest to your weary soul. 

THE INVALID'S PRAYER. 

Angel of patience, speed, speed thy flight ; 

Bring to my heart the rest that it needs ; 
Shed o'er my pillow soft beams of light ; 
Lead me by fountains and verdant meads: 
Angel of patience, speed ! 
Soft as the zephyr through pending tresses, 
Bow thy white wings through cloud-wildernesses; 
Give to the spirit sweet dreaminesses, — 

Dreams, sweet dreams, without pain ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



Angel of patience, the night is long; 

Starlight and moonbeams bring me not sleep 
Shade thou the stars the bright worlds among ; 
Bid the lone moonbeams lie still and weep : 
Angel of patience, shade ! 
Music in wildest strains, pensive and deep, 
Comes from the forest-pine where fairies keep, 
Bringing back memories painfully sweet : 
Angel of patience, weep ! 

Loved ones are passing before me to-night, 

Phantom-like, flitting throughout the scene : 
Spread out thy pinions, and hide the light, 
Filling the past with its gold and sheen, — 
Beautiful gold and sheen ! 
Stay thou to calm the wild fever-flow now ; 
Loosen this band of dull pain from my brow ; 
Lovingly, tenderly, over me bow : 

Angel of patience, stay ! 

Angel of patience, I feel thy power : 

Purer submission thou'st brought to me ; 



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Turned my sad thoughts to a better hour. 
When the tired spirit released shall be 
From weariness and pain, 
Then in God's paradise, fresh and vernal, 
Where is the city with gates eternal, 
I shall drink ever of joys supernal, — 

Drink from the chalice of God. 



VI. 



PATIENCE. 

OW the discipline of life changes 
all the fanciful visions of youth ! 
How it prunes the offshoots 
of imagination, and crumbles 
the castles it was such a delight 
to build ! Bless God for dis- 
cipline constant and severe ! It 
opens the eyes, and shows us what life is ; it 
removes the curtain that hides the only place 
of surety and rest, and shows us the home of 
the blest so plainly, that the hour of depart- 
ure cannot be dreaded. 

169 




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No two years have the same discipline ; but, 
as we advance toward God, the conflict seems 
to increase in strength and power. 

" When, through deepest seas of sorrow, 
We have gained the heavenly shore, 
Bliss from every wave we'll borrow, 
And for each will love Thee more." 

Sometimes my feet grow weary with this 
long, rough path of suffering; but I plod on, 
leaning heavily upon the promises, — " Yet 
will not I forget thee. Thy name is graven 
upon the palms of my hands : thy walls are 
continually before me." 

The Fair opened to-day. I have thought 
of the tastefully-arranged hall, the motley 
crowds, the happy greetings, the music and 
speeches ; and sometimes I have seemed 
almost there myself: but the iron grasp of 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



171 



intense pain would quickly bring me back 
again. 

I have tried to suffer patiently, happily, 
knowing that it was the divine appointment, 
and that others could do no more than act 
their appointed part well. 

My poor nerves have become so jaded with 
the suffering of the past week, that I seem to 
regard nothing in its true light but Jesus. He 
seems the same lovely Being, the same tried 
Friend. Am sad and depressed, yet not un- 
happy. Suppose it is simply a nervous de- 
pression. " He knoweth our frame : he re- 
membereth that we are dust." 

".Who are these arrayed in white robes ? 
and whence came they ? These are they 
which came up out of great tribulation, and 
washed their robes, and made them white in 
the blood of the Lamb." 



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While suffering intensely last evening, the 
question arose in my mind, " Am I washing 
my robes by bearing this patiently ? " The 
thought made me strong. 

" Oh ! fear not in a world like this, 
And thou shalt know ere long, — 
Know how sublime a thing it is 
To suffer and be strong. 

Yes, in a trial-world like this, 

Where all that comes is sent, 
Learn how divine a thing it is 

To smile and be content." 

These are precious lines, my sister. God, 
grant that we may know what it is to leave 
all to our Father's will ! Though clouds may 
hover around us, we will look up, as we hear 
him whisper, " Fear not, little flock," and 
" smile and be content." 

Those lone, sad heart-wailings are ever 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



173 



echoing through the inner depths of my sym- 
pathetic soul. I long to lay your throbbing 
head and heart upon my own, where, aided by 
sympathy's power, you can weep calmly, yet 
profusely, as falls the summer rain. 

I know you appear calm ; but to do so, with 
the wild tumult of the soul, you strain every 
nerve to its highest point of tension, till it can 

vibrate no more. Dear M I cannot feel 

the dreadful weight of woe. that presses upon 
your soul ; I know not the blackness of dark- 
ness that surrounds it ; I feel not those chill, 
wintry winds that ice your very being 
(winter is when those we love have per- 
ished ; for the heart ices then) : but I do 
know that one of the greatest sorrows that 
falls to the lot of woman has burst in all its 
fearfulness and gloom upon your desolate life. 

Your noble, devoted husband has fallen. 
He was the shrine upon which you laid all of 



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earthly love, desire, or hope : that taken, your 
gems are scattered, shattered, and shrineless 
for earthly hours ; but in the soul there rises 
up a heavenly temple, upon the walls of 
which is inscribed, "Thy will, 0 God! be 
done." 

These are words wrung from the agony of 
a Saviour's heart ; and while you so patiently 
drink your bitter, bitter cup, he weeps, and 
loves you still. 

" Beside the toilsome way 
An angel softly walks, 
With pale, sweet face, and eyes cast meekly down, 
The while, from withered leaves and flowerless 
stalks, 

She weaves my fitting crown. 

8 Patience ! ' she sweetly saith : 
e The Father's mercies never come too late. 
Gird thee with patient strength and trusting faith, 

And firm endurance : wait ! ' " 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



175 



It will all be well in our Father's time. I 
only need much patience. 

The billows of grief are rolling and foaming, 
and tossing against my heart. Like long-pent 
waters, they are rushing over my soul in all 
their madness ; and I live only by thinking, 
" God is not dead." Jesus lives ; Jesus lives 
forever ! I will try to 

" Think of the gain only, count not the losses ; 
Think of the crown only, not of the crosses ; 
Think of the angels surrounding the throne ; 
Think of the victory, the song, and the crown." 

Fast Day. — Feel like running down the vista 
of the past ; but it makes me too sad. I must 
trust, and be happy. The year has been one 
of suffering, but one during which I have felt 
the power of religion as never before. 

Ample grace, that makes affliction welcome ! 



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The thought occurs to me, as the moments 
pass by, " And what am I doing ? " Faith 
answers, " Lying still, and letting God's will be 
done as it is done by the angels in heaven." 
This passive life yields an experience rarely 
known to them to wliom life's active part is 
given. It is born of suffering, nourished in 
struggle and victory, and matures in silent 
glory. 

I have tried (and it has not been hard with 
so much help from God) to bear all my suf- 
ferings uncomplainingly, and to kiss the rod 
that deals each blow. It seems great conde- 
scension in my heavenly Father to so love 
me as to choose just that path for me that 
will most conduce to my spiritual growth. 
Blessed Father, I love thy chastening ; and 
" though thou slay me, yet will I trust in 
thee." 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



I am trying to be resigned. God offers no 
cup to our lips that he will not enable us to 
drink. How precious is the inspired word ! — 
" Fear thou not, for I am with thee ; be not 
dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strength- 
en thee ; I will help thee ; yea, I will uphold 
thee with the right hand of my righteous- 
ness." 

" God and Father ! thou didst give me 

Sorrow for rny portion here ; 
But thy mercy will not leave me 

Helpless, struggling with despair. 
For to thee, when sad and lonely, 

Unto thee alone, I turn, 
And to thee, my Father, only, 

Look for comfort when I mourn ; 
And my spirit waxes stronger, 

And my trembling heart is still, 
And my bosom doubts no longer 

Thine inexorable will." 

I breathe from out my inmost heart, " Thy 
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will be done ! " It is but a little while that 
we shall know the bitterness of deprivation ; 
and then all the privileges of heaven will 
be ours, and that forever. 

How holy would I walk here, that I may be 
near God there ! I would be like Christ now, 
that, when the glad trump shall sound, I may 
awake in his likeness. 

My head at times is so tight and numb ! and 
then the tightness seems to break into a thou- 
sand shivers of pain, all through the brain ! 
To think or pray seems like raising a heavy 
weight upon the brain. This is only one 
pain ; but the sum total cannot equal your 
heart-pain. How great a sorrow has fallen 
upon your life ! Only God knows of its depth ; 
only God's pity can reach your great life- 
need. All of his heart of tenderness is yours 
and mine. Thank God, all of infinite love 
and sympathy is ours ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 179 



I cannot help clinging to the thought, that 
after God has thoroughly " purged " these 
tabernacles of defilement, that after he has 
fully fitted us for what he has in store for us 
here or hereafter, he will, even here, give 
us a little season of prosperity, and a little rest 
from life's heaviest crosses. But, be it as it 
may, " let the Lord do as seemeth him 
good." Yes, the heart responds from its 
very depths, " Amen and amen ! " 

" And welcome, precious, can His Spirit make 
My little drop of suffering for his sake. 
Father, the cup I drink, the path I take, 
All, all, is known to thee." 

How sweet the thought that He does know 
all, and can sympathize with us in every sor- 
row and pain ! 

Praise God ! Thou knowest all our path. 



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We will keep close to thee, follow thy foot- 
steps, that we may not be lost in the intricate 
windings of earth. 

How much we have to make us happy, 
though the angel of sorrow ever walks by our 
side ! If one love dies by the way, we have 
others left to love, and for whom we should 
love to live, that we may make their lives 
happy. The closet is ever a place of sunshine, 
where we may catch gleams of all that is 
bright and beautiful. 

Let us not forget how much we have left, 
though something is constantly being taken. 

" All is yours, and ye are Christ's, and 
Christ is God's." 

Oh this longing, longing, restless heart ! 
And yet, as I asked myself the question, 
" Where and what should I like to be, could I 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



181 



choose for myself? " I was cheerfully able to 
reply, " Just what I am and where I am ; for 
the place of my Father's choosing must be the 
best." Yes : be still, thou ever-restless heart, 
and know thy God doeth all things well. 

" As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten." 
Sweet, sweet thought ! " As many as I love." 
How true, when God has purposes of his own, 
he allows people to love or dislike us ! The 
universal love and interest I have had shown 
me by a certain class I have ever considered 
was the gift of God : so now do I recognize 
the divine will in the non-interest and cold- 
ness of those around me. Oh the divine will ! 
How sweet to repose upon it amid'lhe toss- 
ings of life ! How sweet the divine love 
when human love fails ! 

Thanksgiving. — With morning's first con- 



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sciousness, I tried to thank God for my pains. 
If I could do any good ; if I could show to 
those around me the power of religion, and 
how sweetly the grace of God supports and 
sustains the soul, — how willing, even happy, 
should I be to endure any amount of pain! I 
would love to do something for God. The 
love of self wanes ; and my love for God 
burns brighter every day. I could do or bear 
any thing for him. 

God is perfecting you through suffering. 
Oh ! if you can be perfect, shrink not, though 
the furnace be heated " seven times hotter " 
than is wont ; for the presence of the Fourth 
will surety be with you. 

May you continually feel that " your heaven- 
ly Father knoweth that ye have need of all 
these things " ! Our Father often allows us to 
suffer while engaged in promoting his cause. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 183 



So did Jesus suffer in his earth-work ; and we 
may not expect to be above our Master and 
Lord. 

Almost a sleepless night ; but I love to suf- 
fer. I love the gift of God, — ■ my pains. Wish 

I were very much more patient. Miss R 

said the other day, " You are willing to bear 
every thing." But I questioned, " Does God 
think so ? " It is what God thinks of us, and 
not man merely. 

I am conscious of being more humble 
and patient. Affliction does make us more 
like the " Man of sorrows." If not now, we 
shall know hereafter why God has thus led us 
" about." God afflicts for our profit and his 
glory. While we are strengthened by over- 
coming the obstructions in the way, God is 
glorified in the development and use of that 
strength. 



184 



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Strangely checkered are the scenes of life. 
How blessed to have one immutable source to 
which we can flee ! My heart has been filled 
with grief, my cup pressed down with sor- 
row : but I have tried very hard to be patient ; 
to hold still, and behold God's Workings. 
God overrules the minutiae of life, as well as 
the powers of the earth. 

Nothing can befall us but what is best. I 
will not murmur or complain, but, with trust- 
ing heart, will " be still." 

" Smoothly along we cannot sail : 
One day the calm, one day the gale ; 
Ever the rocks on either side, 
Ever the prow against the tide." 

I am busy all the time, doing little fancy 
jobs for my friends, as I go about among 
them ; but it does not seem much. It is not 
my idea of life to crochet, embroider, <fcc. But 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 185 



this thought constantly cheers me: " What- 
ever God appoints becomes a high and holy- 
duty, worth doing well and bravely." 

It is the patient continuance in well-doing 
that is the great test. It is very easy doing 
a great work that is soon accomplished, 
when we can throw all of our energies and 
heart into it ; but the daily performance of 
homely duties requires a strong love to the 
Father's will. Yet here I am, my Father ! 
" Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire, 
else would I have given it thee. Lo, 0 God ! 
I delight to do thy will." 

" O land of rest ! for thee I sigh/' 

sings the worn spirit ; but when I see so 
many unprepared for that rest, with faith in 
Him who has promised strength, I bow in 
humble submission, doing cheerfully the duties 



186 



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assigned me, while I sing a yet sweeter song, 
— " Thy will be done." 

One has beautifully said, " There are morn- 
ings of life which never have an evening." 
Then we will toil on in the way our Father 
has marked out ; and if he calls us in the 
morning, noon, or evening of life, God grant 
that our work may be done, and well done ! 
For days, my heart has felt the force of Mil- 
ton's words : — 

u God does not need man's work or his own gifts. 
Who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best ; 
Who best can suffer, best can do ; best reign, 
Who first weU hath obeyed." 

Perfect obedience ! Faith scans it ; but I 
cannot reach it at one bound. It must be a 
life-work. 

I am safe in the hands of Jesus in life or in 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 187 



death. I dare not trust myself to choose ; 
but I can trust all to Him " who is too wise to 
err, too good to be unkind." All my desire, 
0 God ! is that thy will should be done, and 
thy name glorified. Give or take, smite or 
heal, sweet or bitter be my portion, yet, 0 
Father ! glorify thyself in me. 

My path has been rugged : but, if it leads 
me home, the roughness of the journey will 
all be forgot ; or, if remembered, it will only 
add a sweeter strain to my song, and make 
heaven dearer. 

"From darkness here, and dreariness, 

We ask not full repose : 
Only be Thou at hand to bless 

Our trial-hour of woes. 
Is not the pilgrim's toils overpaid 
By the clear rill and palmy shade ? 
And see we not up earth's dark glade 

The gate of heaven unclose ? " 



188 



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I love to press my bared feet into every foot- 
print of the Saviour's ; for I find every thorn 
hallowed by his blood and sufferings. Sweet 
privilege, to have any experience similar to 
his own ! 

" Unto you it is given in the behalf of 
Christ, not only to believe on his name, but 
also to suffer for his sake." 

0 disease, thou ruthless destroyer of our 
bright hopes ! couldst thou not have tarried 
a few short years, till we had labored a little 
for our God ? Then we might have returned 
from our field of labor " with rejoicing, bear- 
ing our sheaves with us," and, fitted for the 
bowers of Paradise when God should call, 
enter in with those whom he had given us, to 
go no more out forever. Ah, no ! thou .earnest 
at the bidding of our kind Father; and we 
will welcome thee now, knowing thy mission 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 189 



is one of love and mercy. " Surely it were 
never His design who placed us here that we 
should live in ease, or drink at Pleasure's 
fountain." 

Dear G , do you ever sincerely thank 

God that you are not poor, and that you have 
kind friends to supply your needs ? When 
money and health too are gone, life has many 
a hard struggle, many an up-hill path. 

I would not have this allusion savor of dis- 
content. No, no ! I thank God for my pov- 
erty and my pains. He gives me sweet and 
tender tokens of his love, which counterbal- 
ance all of earthly good withheld. 

I was only thinking, if earth's favored 
children could but realize their blessings, and 
possess the heavenly heritage too, their cup 
must be running over with joy ; for, with the 
little of earth that has fallen to my lot, I am 



190 DROPS OF WATER 

very,very happy ; because God is all and in 
all 

One day nearer home ! How it cheers my 
weary heart ! The trials of this day are all 
passed through, never to be experienced 
again, and now can be subtracted from the 
sum total. Praise God, praise God ! Each 
day's strength is apportioned, while we work 
out our salvation with fear and trembling. 

Sometimes I feel I can endure this nervous 
wear no longer : then comes the thought, — 

" One by one thy trials wait thee ; 
Do not fear an armed band : 
Some will fade as others greet thee, — 
Shadows passing through the land." 

When I feel my limbs so numb, hang- 
ing like weights to the body, my very being 
quivers with fear ; but I try not to dwell 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



191 



upon the dim uncertainties of the future 
gloomily. Hope lends Fancy her bright wings, 
and I see myself walking about again, erect, 
sprightly, as I am wont to do, taking some 
part in the active duties of life, and doing 
something for God and the world. But, in 
health or pain, God's will shall be my delight. 

How faithful are the promises of our blessed 
Saviour ! How near he has been to you, ever 
whispering, " Lo, I am with you alway " ! 
" Bear these sufferings for me a little longer ; 
and, instead of the ' crown of thorns ' which 
is now piercing your patient brow, I will give 
a crown of never-fading glory." A little 
while, and the long age of bliss in heaven is 
yours. " In my Father's house are many man- 
sions : if it were not so, I would have told you." 

Many shadows have flitted across my hori- 



192 



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zon to-day. Why this restless feeling, this 
chafing against the iron bars of circum- 
stance ? 

Does not God do all things well ? " Doth 
he not see my ways, and count all my steps ? " 

I cannot doubt it, and will cheerfully ac- 
quiesce in all that he apportions me. 

With a steady faith, the shadows cannot 
linger long ; for, when Jesus sees the upturned 
faces of his little ones, he is " touched " with 
the feelings of their infirmity, and quickly 
bids the darkness flee, while he, with healing 
in his wings, rises in the heart, the glad Sun 
of Righteousness. 

THE SUFFERER'S SOLILOQUY. 

Fm very tired and worn ! 
So many years of torturing pain 
Have come and gone, and come again : 

The night brings ne'er a morn. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



The end I cannot see : 
The wormwood draught, the bitter cup, 
As to my lips I take it up, 

Seems deep and full to me. 

In life's fair morn how bright 
My hopes, teeming with freshest life ! 
I did not dream that earth was rife 

With shadows, it seemed so light. 

On high my life-sun stood 
In its meridian power ; 
My heart exultant every hour 

In some new earthly good. 

Ah me ! then came the storm, 
Surging my life in deep distress, 
Steeping my soul in bitterness, 

Leaving me sad, forlorn. 

Yet was it not the love 
And tenderness of God to me, ^ 

13 



194 



DROPS OF WATER. 



That did appoint the cross ? Ay : we 
Cannot see as they above. 

The suffering and loss, 
The darkness shrouding all in gloom, 
Have made me seek the heavenly home, 

And cling to Christ's dear cross. 

Yes, I'm very tired and worn ! 
K But weakest ones have largest share 
Of the Shepherd's tender care ; " 

And in his arms I'm borne. 

A little while to stay, 
And then our sufferings will be done : 
Be strong, my soul ! with patience run 

All the appointed way. 



VII. 



WAITING, 




OW sweet to rest on His will 
who doeth all things well, not 
only when he commands us to go 
, forward, but also when he bids 
( us pause and wait ! " His pur- 
poses are ripening fast, un- 
folding every hour ; " and, in 



the best way possible, he is fitting us for our 
earthly mission. Though human sight may 
not discern it in the many interruptions of 
our chosen plans, yet faith whispers, " All 

195 



196 



DROPS OF WATER 



things shall work together for good to them 
that love God." 

While I wait, I dare not take my thoughts 
from Christ, lest I doubt. To thee, 0 Christ ! 
I cling. Immutable Christ ! to thee I cling. 
" Wait on the Lord ; be of good courage ; 
and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I 
say, on the Lord." Is not this a command 
parallel with " Speak unto the children of 
Israel, that they go forward " ? Does not the 
one, as well as the other, require cheerful 
obedience ? I will lay hold upon the promise, 
— "He shall strengthen thine heart;" then 
can I happily " wait," anci " be of good 
courage." 

For several days, the shadows have come 
between my soul and Christ. I think I may 
have been too anxious to do some great work 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



19T 



for God, and have overlooked the little ways 
of usefulness. It has been a hard lesson for 
me, that God did not need my services. I 
know that he needs none of us ; but he does 
design to use some of us : and it is not easy to 
be satisfied, when day after day passes, and no 
work is given me to do for Jesus. Truly, 
there are many such days when all my work 
is waiting. 

" One sweetly solemn thought 
Comes to me o'er and o'er, — 
I'm nearer home to-day 
Than I've ever heen before ; 
Nearer my Father's house, 
Where the many mansions be ; 
Nearer the great white throne ; 
Nearer the crystal sea ; 
Nearer that bound of life 
Where we lay our burdens down ; 
Nearer leaving our cross ; 
Nearer wearing our crown/' 



198 



DROPS OF WATER 



Sweet, sweet thought ! I repeat it again and 
again, and each time it seems a more blessed 
reality. Glory to God ! " nearer home ! " It 
fills my soul with joy. Cares, pains, trials, 
come, if ye will : each day brings me nearer 
the end. Soon I shall be free, and dwell with 
Christ at home. No more fatigue, no more 
distress, but joy and happiness forever. Shall 
we not raise one loud shout of " Home at 
last, home at last ! " 

I used to feel almost unhappy when I could 
not labor ; but now I am learning to be quite 
happy in waiting. God is giving me a more 
cheerful and perfect submission. How far it 
has been from being perfect in character ! 
Thank God that he leads us on step by step, 
teaching us some new lesson every day ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



199 



Down by the river : — 

" How can you call me back to earth 
When I am almost home ? 
How can I turn away from those 
Who beckon me to come ? 



How can I leave the starry crown 
Which I in heaven may wear, 

And hold this weary, weary cross, 
Which is so hard to bear ? " 



These many months I have been waiting to 
know my Father's will. I hear no voice bid- 
ding me to do this or that. I know not where 
the next step may lead ; but I press on, as 
light falls upon my way. Jesus whispers, 
" What I do thou knowest not now ; but thou 
shalt know hereafter." I have committed all 
to the Lord. Doing or suffering, I am his. 
" It is good that a man should both hope and 
quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord." 



200 



DROPS OF WATER 



" Nearer the port by every wave ! 39 

Praise God ! Even now I see my Father's 
house, peering in the distance. A few more 
struggles, and the conflict will be ended. We 
shall have fought the fight, and finished our 
course ; and blessed will it be if we can say 
with the servant of God, " I am now ready to 
be offered." 

Sometimes when the love of God burns 
brightly upon the altar of my heart, when I 
thiuk of so much to be done, when I think 
of souls rushing unsaved into eternity, I find 
it difficult to rest, and hush the throbbings of 
my eager spirit. But I am making it a point 
of duty; and, since I offered myself a "living 
sacrifice," all duty is pleasant, even that of 
a passive character, so uncongenial to our 
active natures. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



201 



The heart is calmly stayed upon God. The 
whisper came in prayer, " Be still, and know 
that I am God." By this continued waiting, 
God is teaching me lessons of faith. Yes, my 
heart, " be still : " God knows why. 

"Behold, we live through all things, — famine, 
thirst, 

Bereavement, pain, all grief and misery, 
All woe and sorrow. Life inflicts its worst 
On soul and body ; but we cannot die. 
Though we be sick and tired and faint and 
worn, 

Lo ! all things can be borne." 

Ah ! the day is fast approaching, when, 
upon the banks of the celestial river, we shall 
repeat the story of our earth-wanderings, and 
rejoice in Him who hath redeemed us, and 
brought us thither. Glory to Jesus for the 



202 



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beautiful prospect! My heart beats high 
for heaven, but is none the less strong for 
the conflict and the completion of my earth- 
mission. 

Cloud and sunshine in nature, and in my 
own heart too. 

" Some rain into all lives must fall ; 
Some days must be dark and dreary." 

I wait, looking unto Jesus for the -blessed 
evening-time of light. 

" Angel ! behold, I wait, 
Wearing the thorny crown through all life's hours ; 
Wait, till thy hand shall ope the eternal gate, 
And change the thorns to flowers." 

WAITING. 

"All the days of my appointed time will I* wait till my" 
change comes." 

Waiting, waiting, calmly waiting, 
As the days pass slowly by ; 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



Sitting near the cross of Jesus ; 
Waiting till the shadows fly. 

Waiting, waiting, till the sunlight 
Gilds the eastern way of faith ; 

Waiting for the voice of Jesus, 
As the holy prophet saith. 

Waiting, waiting, yet am serving : 
That is all that is required ; 

Suffering the will of Jesus, 
While the heart with love is fired. 

How this ardent wish to labor 
Burns the censer of the soul, 

While we're foiled in each endeavor, 
Vainly struggling for the goal ! 

We are living stones, and precious : 
Well the workman does his part, — 

Burnishing the rougher edges, 
Making perfect these poor hearts. 



DROPS OF WATER. 



Waiting, waiting ! Holy Father ! 

Thou the vessel wilt prepare, 
Fitting it for thine own glory, 

Making it thy tender care. 

And if this is all my mission, 
Here to suffer and to wait, 

Let the heart, in meek submission, 
Still rejoice at such a fate. 



vm. 

LONGINGS. 

ND I shall be happy in heav- 
en ! How much, sometimes, 
I long to be there ! My poor 
life seems so broken and un- 
satisfactory, that I want to be 
where Jesus is, and be satis- 
fied. " I shall be satisfied ! " 
Wonderful words ! but not till we awake in 
His likeness shall we fully comprehend. 




Feel more tenderness of heart than usual. 
I am hungering for more grace, more love, to 

205 



206 



DROPS OF WATER 



dwell more fully in Jesus. The blood of 
Christ is my only plea. How precious the 
thought, " it cleanseth " ! 

I would hasten on to the kingdom. Oh this 
loitering ! how it chills the ardor of our love, 
and presses the soul with a heavy weight ! 
Help, Father, when we pray ! 

My poor heart trembles often ; but I hold 
fast, and cling to the Mighty One. " A little 
while," — what sweet words to us here! but 
there will be no " little while " in heaven, but 
endless joy. How blessed it will be to be 
there, to be with Jesus, and see him as he is ! 

" My God, my Life, my Sanctified, 
My Saviour, and my All ! " 

That is heaven. 

Jerusalem, the city of God, our city, our 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 207 



home, precious and sweet ; and so near us ! 
Only a step, and we reach it. " They hunger 
no more, neither thirst any more." What 
a soul-inspiring thought ! We shall have so 
much of Jesus, that we shall feel no more 
hungerings and thirstings after him, but have 
a continual feast. We shall never feel a want 
of him, because we shall ever sit at his table. 
Some think these words of holy John refer 
alone to the wants of the body. But why need 
we think only of bodily cravings ? Are not 
our souls ever hungry in this earthly taber- 
nacle ? Is not the sweetness of the promise 
realized when we regard it only in a spiritual 
sense ? Herein can I trace spiritual growth 
in my soul, — that the words of Jesus find a 
place in the depths of the heart, and give life 
to the spirit. 



208 



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Beyond the blooming and the fading, 

I shall be soon ; 
Beyond the shining and the shading, 
Beyond the hoping and the dreading, 
I shall be soon. 
Love, rest, and home, 

Sweet home ! 
Lord, tarry not, but come. 

Oh for a heart fired with the love of Jesus 
and his cause ! Oh for a love that will em- 
brace weary, dying souls, and bring them to 
the cross ! 

An earnest looking to Jesus, a thirsting for 
living waters. I must have much of God^ or 
I cannot be a power sufficient to move sinners 
about me. Strange, when these fallen natures 
are renewed, and we are made in the sweet 
image of Jesus, how the wicked fall before 
us ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



209 



Heaven is becoming daily more attractive. 
Will it not be sweet to lay off this dull mor- 
tality, and • be able to commune with each 
other by thought, with more than electric 
rapidity, however widely separated in space ? 
We shall be present to each other in thought, 
though the field of our exploration be in space 
infinitely distant. Blessed hope ! cheering 
prospect ! 

I will not grow weary in well-doing ; for the 
crown of the faithful is awaiting me now. 

Oh to sit down with Jesus, and drink the 
new wine in our Father's kingdom ! The 
time is short. Soon at home. But, while the 
Master tarries, let me " watch and be sober," 
redeeming the time, because the days are 
evil. Would have my soul so filled with 
Christ, that every thought may be pure and 
holy. 

u 



210 



DROPS OF WATER 



" No foot of land do I possess, — 
A stranger in this wilderness ; " 

but, " in my Father's house, there are many 
mansions." I shall soon know the extent of 
my legacy, and enter into its fulness forever. 
While I tarry, an abiding peace makes my 
heart glad. 

These day-dreams seem more sad than the 
reality. They do not encourage the sunshine, 
but leave the heart shadowy, damp, and chilly. 
But this dreamy state of mind seems quite 
essential to some spirits. It is the way that 
leads to that high region of thought and ex- 
perience, where we wake from our dreams to 
the sweet reality of things immortal ; where 
we no longer pass the time in building castles 
in the air, but base our lives firmly and posi- 
tively upon the will of God. 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 



211 



All, me ! do you not love- to think of that 
narrow little bed where we shall stretch the 
tired limbs, and rest, rest, rest ? " Though 
worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall 
I see God." " There the wicked cease from 
troubling, and there the weary be at rest." 

" As the hart panteth for the water-brooks, 
so panteth my soul for thee, 0 God ! When 
shall I come, and appear before God ? " This 
is the language of my heart. Nothing do I 
desire so much as God. He alone satisfies my 
fainting spirit. 

My heart aches, aches, aches ! I grow old 
and tired. My desires for others, and their 
carelessness, make earth a sad place to me. 
I long for heaven, — 

" Love, rest, and home : 
Lord, tarry not, but come." 



212 



DROPS OF WATER 



I shall not be as busy by and by, and hope 
to take some rest. Rest ? Nay, not till I get 
home. When I think of Jesus, I want to go 
home ; but, when I see so much to be done, I 
cry out, " Send me!" I love to tell of God's 
love and bounty, his marvellous stores, — and 
all ours ! 

How glad I am there is an eternity ! We 
shall need it all to sound His praise. 

While busy with my hands to-day 3 1 ha^e 
been singing, — 

" Nearer, my God, to thee, — 
- Nearer to thee." 

My soul has been reaching out for God. 

" E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me," 

yet would I be drawn near to thee, my God ! 
How easily I become interested in earthly 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS, 213 



things ! Oh that I could ever keep so near to 
Jesus as to be dazzled with his beauty and 
loveliness ! 

/ 

I do love him above every thing ; but I want 
my love more deep, constant, and ardent. 

" Heaven is not reached at a single bound ; 
But we build the ladder by which we rise 
From the lowly earth to the vaulted skies, 
And we mount to its summit round by round. 

I count this thing to be grandly true, — 
That a noble deed is a step toward God, 
Lifting the soul from the common sod 

To a purer air and a broader view. 

We hope, we resolve, we aspire, we pray ; 
And we think we mount the air on wings, 
Beyond the recall of sensual things, 

While our feet still cling to the heavy clay. 



214 



DROPS OF WATER 



Wings for the angels, but feet for the men ! 
We may borrow the wings to find the way ; 
We may hope and resolve, and aspire and 
pray : 

But our feet must rise, or we fill again. " 

To be a partaker of Christ's holiness, — to 
be clothed with his righteousness, — must it 
not be a blessed lot ? How much I crave a 
deeper experience of such bliss ! 

If we are united to him, all is well. No 
matter what may be the portion allotted to us, 
if Christ and his strength are ours, we need 
ask no more. 

A heavy rain fell last night, and the earth 
is looking so fresh and beautiful this morning! 
My thirsty soul is panting for a fresh shower 
of divine grace. Come, Jesus ! oh, come to 
me now, and water thine own habitation from 
the living springs ! 



FROM MANY FOUNTAINS. 215 



Stormy and dark without, and the sunshine 
of God's smiles gleams but dimly through the 
mists of earth. Sweet land of sunshine and 
beauty eternal, I long for thee ! 

Oh for a deeper entrance into the heart of 
God's love ! Would not that silence our mur- 
murings, and lead us to repose with confi- 
dence upon Infinite Wisdom ? 

DAY-DREAMS. 

I am dreaming by the window, 
As the shades of evening fall, — 

Dreaming sad and shady day-dreams, 
Such as sometimes come to all. 

I am dreaming by the window 

Of the by-gone fraught with tears : 

E'en my childhood sorrowful, and 
Sadder still these later years. 



DROPS OF WATER. 

I am dreaming by the window ; 

Dreaming of the household band; 
Dreaming of the broken circle 

Severed by the Father's hand. 

I am dreaming by the window. 

Spirit-forms, methinks, I see : 
Spectral in the evening twilight, 

They have come once more to me. 

I am dreaming by the window, 

Looking out into the nisrht. 
One by one, the stars smile on me : 

Something whispers, " God does right." 

God does right : he took my loved ones, 

Let my earthly idols fall. 
God does right the shades to lengthen ; 

God does right : he's all in all ! 

I am dreaming by the window ; 

Dreaming of the other shore ; 
Dreaming of the tears all banished 

When we wake to dream no more. 



